The Myth of Closure

Do you think the problems of the world will ever be fully solved? How would you even know if this was the case? Won’t there always be more to do? How do you know when you have perfected the art of being human? Isn’t there always more to experience and learn? Religious traditions have framed these questions in terms of Promised Land. They asked the question, Will we ever reach the Promised Land? How will we know when we have arrived? An ancient Jewish story suggests an answer. Two students were debating when you know you have reached the Promised Land. They came to their Rabbi. One said, “Is it when you see an animal in the distance and know whether it’s a sheep or dog?”

“No,” the Rabbi replied.

“Is it when you can look at a tree and tell whether it’s a fig tree or an oak?”

“No,” the rabbi answered again.

After a few more attempts, the students said, “Then tell us, what is it?”

He said, “It is when you can look on the face of any man or woman and know that this is your sister or brother. Until then, you are still in exile.”

When another person’s cry for help is so real that you can taste the salt in your mouth, then you have reached the Promised Land. When you feel your neighbor’s pain as a physical pain in your own body, then you have reached the Promised Land. When you recognize that injustice for one is injustice for all, and that your prosperity is intimately related to the prosperity of people on the other side of the globe, then you have reached the Promised Land. Until then, you are in exile.

Are you there yet? No. None of us have arrived at this perfection. We just have glimpses. Have you conquered all fear? No. We all have unfinished business when it comes to erasing fear and prejudice from our lives. Is there still injustice in the world? Yes. As long as there is injustice and suffering in the world, there is more work to be done. Keep striving. Keep working at living with greater compassion. Keep taking action where you can. If you don’t imagine that you will ever see the outcomes of your labors, do what you can anyway. Defy the limits of your few years on earth by creating a legacy of love that will outlast you.

If you expect that your good efforts will be undone by the shortsightedness of others, or an ineffective political system, do good anyway. You have no idea how, when and where the seeds of your best efforts will harvest in amazing ways. Don’t be put off for a second by the fact that you won’t reach the Promised Land in your life. Just do what you can, love the world in your own unique way and feel the satisfaction of knowing that you have left the world a more decent place just by your presence and authentic efforts.

The Path is Unpredictable

The path is different for every one of us. It’s not predictable and there are many setbacks and reasons for discouragement. There is no end point or closure on most issues and efforts. Every assumed ending opens up a new beginning. Every celebrated answer raises a new question. No emotion is final. There is always more. Every justice uncovers yet another layer of injustice. The two major stories in the Bible, the Exodus and the story of Jesus, are both reminders that the path to new life takes some surprising turns. The story of Exodus is a game of cat and mouse between the Israelites and the Pharaoh. After years of near misses, the Israelites finally escape. Expecting to find closure in a land flowing with milk and honey, they instead find themselves in the wilderness. Instead of taking the direct route to freedom, the road known in ancient times as “the highway to the promised land”, they find themselves at the edge of a raging sea.

Standing at the edge of the Red Sea, they wonder if it is all worth it. They might as well have stayed in captivity. What will come of them if they jump in the water? What is on the other side in any case? Standing there, they make a choice- the choice to dive in and literally go with the flow. They were so resolved in their choice that it was as if the sea parted before them. It was like the Subway commercial last year when Michael Phelps swam right through the wall of the pool, through the aquatic center walls, through corn fields, and carving up the highway. When you move with commitment, incredible things happen. As the Shakespeare of Germany Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

Then there is the story of Jesus with the reminder that so often the path to new life involves heartache and loss. The disciples never understood that point. They seemed to be hoping for their own form of closure, maybe a triumphant social realm or a kingdom. They gathered at the home of a notorious outcast, Simon the Leper. The only person present who really understood the myth of closure was the woman who poured expensive perfume on Jesus feet. While the others were distracted by what seemed to be waste and getting ahead of themselves in terms of massive social problems, Jesus said, “This woman has done a beautiful thing.” He said, “You will always have the poor with you, but not me.” He wasn’t saying to them to not care or to give up. He is suggesting that they deal with the present moment choice. Don’t expect closure. Just make once choice right now that is authentic and keeps you moving forward.

Poverty and suffering will always be with us. So prepare yourself for the long and sometimes painful path of authenticity. It doesn’t mean you resign yourself to a life of misery and failed efforts. You do what you can, you liberate yourself from expecting perfection and you keep moving towards the light.

The Myth of Closure

This is a new way of thinking about closure. As we say to our kids at the dinner table, “Close your mouth when you’re chewing.” Closure is a dangerous myth because perfection is nowhere. That bad relationship you left? Move on and let it go as much as you can. But there are aspects of it that will stay with you. To borrow the words of Jesus, “You will always have your ex spouse with you.” But now you can make a choice to integrate your pain and do something bold. The you that you have become is stronger and wiser. You don’t need to hide or blame your past. That failed business venture? Move on by all means and let go of your disappointment. But there is no absolute closure. You will always have your past decisions with you. Now make a choice to live with boldness. That guilt laden belief system that you have worked so hard to remove from your mind? No absolute closure. You will always have your tradition with you. That effort to feed the world? Guess what- there will always be more people to feed, more suffering to end, more wrongs to right.

To expect absolute closure is to chase your tail, and lock yourself in an endless desire for certainty. It is to look in the wrong places for signs of progress. You don’t measure progress by the end point but by the choice you make in each moment. Like the woman with the perfume, choose to make each moment beautiful, let go of the outcomes, and you will achieve more than you could even imagine. Let go of the unrealistic expectations of closure and enjoy the mini victories along the way. You don’t have to solve all the problems of the world. Just choose to love in your own unique way in each moment. The rest is detail.

You have known incredible hurts and disappointments in your life. You have every reason to want closure from your painful past. But your experience is part of what makes you whole and human. Your experience of pain gives you insight into compassion. Your experience of loss gives you strength to survive and overcome challenge. When you stop looking for closure, you liberate yourself to dwell in each moment, fragile and human as you are, and live with boldness.

Closure and the Death Penalty

Now relate this way of thinking about closure to the criminal justice system. Dr William Pettit from Cheshire Connecticut is the only member of his family to survive a tragic and senseless home invasion. His wife and two daughters were tortured and killed so mercilessly that the prosecutor said, “If there was ever a case deserving the death penalty, this was it.” It’s hard to disagree. One of the convicted murderers was indeed sentenced to death recently.

One of the arguments for the death penalty is to give the victim’s loved ones relief and closure. Dr Pettit who has every reason to remain bitter and cynical, said this about closure, “”I was offended when someone asked me if the death sentence had given me ‘closure.’ There is no ‘closure’…[he then evoked the living images of his two daughters, burned to death in their beds, ages 11 and 15]….there will never be ‘closure.’ It’s a hole in your heart, a hole surrounded by jagged edges. Maybe over time the jagged edges will smooth over a little bit, but the hole is still there and will always be there. There is no closure.”

Studies confirm the experience of Dr Pettit. Taking another life to avenge the loss of life is a hollow peace. It doesn’t bring closure even to many of those who vehemently call for the death of the perpetrator. On the contrary they now have another gruesome death seared on their brains. The human brain is built to retain memories and information from life changing situations. If closure means removing memories, then I would be worried that the memories become suppressed and resurface in dangerous ways.

This question about the death penalty transcends party politics. An increasing number of American people are against the death penalty. I’m proud to say that Michigan was the first English speaking state in the world to abolish the death penalty and it was instituted and supported by Republicans and Democrats alike. There is strong evidence that the death penalty is not an effective deterrent to violent crime. There is mixed evidence about the level of pain involved in the different methods of killing criminals. The addition of DNA evidence has proven the innocence of some who are on death row. We can only imagine that innocent people have been killed. We can only imagine that people who had the potential to change and make meaningful contributions to society have been killed. But even if there was a fool proof way to show a person’s guilt and irredeemable nature, there remain many moral and practical doubts about the death penalty.

It might take a while, but momentum seems to be moving in the direction of ending capital punishment in all states. I don’t need to argue that case. I raise the issue here as it questions what it is we are looking for out of justice. Is it vengeance? Is it personal closure? Do we send convicted criminals to prison AS punishment, or FOR punishment? Are we protecting society, or locking the problem away so that we don’t have to deal with it?

The ultimate question is whether the death penalty serves the greater good, and creates a more peaceful society.

There is a beautiful story told in the movie “The Interpreter.” In Manitoba Africa, the mythical Ku tribe have an interesting practice. They believe that the only way to resolve the loss of life is to save a life. After a year of mourning, they hold a ritual called the drowning man trial. The killer is dropped in the middle of a river with weights attached. He is also bound so that he can’t swim. The family of the victim then have a choice. They can either let him drown or they can save him. The Ku believe that if the family let the killer drown they will have justice but they will spend their lives in mourning. If they save him, and accept that life is not always fair, this very acceptance and act of mercy can take away their sorrow. As Nicole Kidman says in the movie, “Vengeance is a lazy form of grief.”

Fertile Void

Vengeance can be a lazy for of grief. Closure can be a lazy form of grief. Where does the desire for closure originate? We get locked in a task oriented, linear view of time. We expect life to be predictable and controllable. We look at one thing independent of all other things- one experience, one outcome, one issue- rather than seeing the totality, the Gestalt, that is open ended, dynamic and interrelated.

We fill in any missing pieces of our story based on our current understanding forgetting that the next day, the next month of the next year we will have greater understanding. We continually mix a different cocktail of meaning in our minds to make sense of life. We constantly deconstruct meaning and then rebuild it in new ways. The story keeps changing. What Gestalt Therapy calls closure is really the mini sartoris, or mini awakenings along the way rather than a once and for all time enlightenment. These mini awakenings come to us in lieu of out and out closure. They point us to the field of possibilities that we play in. We are new in every moment- new stories, new meaning, new possibility.

Even your losses, hurts and confusions are fertile voids where surprise and new hope is possible once again. There is ALWAYS more- more to come, more to learn, more to realize, more to experience. Are you open to change and new perspectives in your life?

Closure can be a lazy form of grief, whether it’s personal grief or communal justice. Consider your own expectations of life and justice. Can you persist without seeing the outcome of your efforts? Can you live with boldness even when the past rears its ugly head and haunts you? Can you strive for justice, even when another injustice lurks around the corner?

For those who are looking for relief from an aching heart, here is the good news. Like Dr Pettit, over time the jagged edges of the hole in your heart smooth out a little. The hole is still there and it makes you the incredibly compassionate and strong person you are. You are alive and growing. No emotion is final. There is no closure, just the divine reassurance that there is always more to come.

I end with this verse from The Dance by Oriah Mountain Dreamer which seems to capture everything I want to say on this issue.

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world the stories and the songs you want our children’s children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude, knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!” Just take my hand and dance with me.

Namaste.

The Time is Always Now

This is it. Do you hear it? The gentle sounds that fill the air, the aromas and energies that fill your senses. Inhale the moment. You are immersed in this moment like salt in an immense ocean; time and space dissolve into one taste of Now. If you are carrying heavy burdens and anxiety, pause and taste the moment. It demands nothing of you, but your presence. If you are troubled and lonely, taste the moment. It is your companion, full of peace and perfection.

Take the advice of Wendell Berry. “When despair for the world grows in you and you wake in the night at the least sound, in fear of what your life and your children’s lives may be, go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. Come into the peace of wild things that do not trouble their lives with forethought of grief. Come into the presence of still water and feel above you the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time, rest in the grace of the world.” You are free. You are safe.

Aldous Huxley described being present to the moment as part of the perennial philosophy, meaning that it is universal wisdom, emphasized in many traditions over many generations.

Jesus said, “Consider the lilies. They neither toil, nor spin….let tomorrow take care of itself.”

The Buddha described it like this- “Don’t chase after the past, don’t seek the future; The past is gone, the future hasn’t come. But see clearly on the spot the object which is now, while finding and living in a still, unmoving state of mind.”

Rabbi Hillel said, “If not now, when?”

Hopi Elders said, “This is the Hour and we are the ones we have been waiting for.”

Rumi, the great poet and teacher of Sufism, the mystical branch of Islam, said ‘past and future veil God from our sight; burn up both of them with fire.’

Mindfulness teacher, Jon Kabat Zinn said, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
And of course, Kermit the Frog offered his timeless wisdom, “Times fun when you’re having flies.”

The past is nothing but memory, often intruding in your life like an unwelcome guest at midnight. The future is nothing but projection, often casting a shadow over your life like storm clouds. You hold your breath, for fear of allowing yourself to fully embrace the moment.

Do you remember the Y2K scare that computers would crash when clocks rolled over to 2000? It was amusing to be in Australia, one of the first time zones to see the New Year. January 1, 2000 arrived without incident and yet people in other parts of the world still fretted about what would happen to them? We love to worry, don’t we. As Charles Schulz (creator of Charlie Brown) said, “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”

As if the present moment does not contain enough beauty of its own, we so often engage in mental time travel. We travel back in time, at least our mind’s best effort to reconstruct the past. It’s like living life through the rear view mirror. The problem with living life through the rear view mirror is that objects (and memories) appear larger than they really are. Situations that were challenging in the past might not be so challenging now that you have more courage and wisdom. Your fear that the hurts of the past will repeat is disproportionate compared to your ever expanding ability to deal with life as it emerges. Quit judging yourself for who you used to be. Give yourself a break. The same challenges may arise, but this time you are ready. You are a new person, stronger, smarter and wiser.

We also travel forward in time, at least our mind’s best attempt to guess the future. It’s the same problem. You think about the future from the level of wisdom and courage you have now, forgetting that you will be different, wiser and stronger by the time the future arrives. Mental time travel leads to such a distorted sense of identity, and so much unnecessary suffering.

Of course, it’s essential to do some mental time traveling. That’s how you learn from the past and anticipate the future. It’s right to reflect on the past and plan ahead. Just don’t dwell there.

Zadie Smith offers a beautiful turn of phrase when describing the passage of time in White Teeth. She says; “don’t fall for ‘the myth, the wicked lie, that the past is always tense and the future, perfect’.”

Grammatically, the perfect tense has a neat relationship with the present tense. The perfect tense implies that everything that needs to be done is already done. It all collides in this moment; everything necessary for contentment comes together in this moment. The past is what it is, and what your memory makes of it. You make the future perfect by living fully in the present.

The point here is, “live your life in the perfect, present tense.” You lack nothing in this moment. You need nothing in this moment. All is perfect right now. Sometimes it takes a young child to remind us to stay awake to the moment. I have a special memory of a phase in life when I spent Fridays with my two-year-old son. We walked and sometimes, we even walked backwards. Occasionally, we walked with our eyes shut. We smelt flowers. We got lost as often as possible.

One of our favorite tricks was running sticks along the metal fence of the Jehovah’s Witness Kingdom Hall. It occasionally disturbed the meetings taking place inside, and briefly the attention of these pious people was diverted from their future hope discussions to the reality outside. They probably expected trouble, yet when they looked, all they saw was a young child and his dad, both being kids. I often imagine that they might have pitied us as people who had no future hope according to their religious beliefs. If only they knew. If only they realized that this was one of the times in my life when I felt most alive and hopeful; precisely because nothing was further from my mind than the future.

Visit Soulseeds for resources to stay grounded in the present moment.

Reasonable Doubt

Let me begin by poking a little fun at our judicial system. After all, the system is based on putting the fate of the accused in the hands of a jury of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty to begin with. But here is a story about a jury that outsmarted a lawyer.

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence pointing to his guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a stunt.

‘Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all, ‘the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. ‘Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.’ The jurors all looked at the door. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, ‘Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked. Therefore, you must have reasonable doubt that he is dead. I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.’

The jury met to deliberate. A few minutes later, they returned and pronounced the verdict- “guilty”.

‘But how?’ inquired the lawyer. ‘You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door.’ The jury foreman replied, ‘Yes, we looked, but your client didn’t.’

He knew something they didn’t about the suspected victim. Reasonable doubt is my theme. I want to see if I can make you look…..at doubt in some fresh way. Doubt is an uncomfortable topic, and an uncomfortable experience. Voltaire said, “Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.” Doubt may be uncomfortable, but certainty is an elusive and harsh task master. Are there really many things we can know with certainty in any case? Can you know what the future will bring your health? Can you know for sure if friends are going to hurt you? Can we know if and when the economy will rebound? Can you know with absolute certainty if there is a God or an afterlife? Can you discern the right and moral thing to do in every circumstance?

There are very few certainties in life. The path to peace is not lined with certainty. It is lined with the acceptance of change and uncertainty. The trick is to make doubt your ally so that you neither become dogmatic because you have ALL truth nor do you become inactive because you have NO truth. Chart a course in between these two extremes.

Doubt is Healthy

The first step is to liberate doubt from the bonds of guilt. You may have grown up in a religious system where doubt was frowned on. In the Middle Ages, doubt was a crime punishable by death. In the modern ages, doubt is a sin to be met with prayer and guilt. It is often seen as a sign of spiritual weakness, when it is actually the beginning of wisdom. We have to first overcome some of the baggage of the past when it comes to doubt.

Consider the legal phrase, “beyond reasonable doubt.” The phrase grew out of a superstitious, religious worldview where judges and jury faced the pressure that if they wrongly charged an innocent person they would suffer eternal consequences. It was said that if judges made a mistake, they built themselves “a mansion in hell”. Reasonable doubt was a spiritual escape clause in case they made a mistake. While the phrase is used today as a way to support the rights of the accused, it was originally used to make it easier to convict a criminal without the judge and jury taking undue risk with their own salvation. It’s questionable as to whether the phrase is useful to juries in the way we use it today. We no longer expect juries to carry the burden of the salvation of their souls, and nor do you need to live in fear for your soul.

Banish the idea that guilt is wrong and reactivate your own inner check and balance system. Doubt is healthy and it has nothing to do with guilt and salvation. Doubt functions in your life like punctuation in a sentence. It provides a pause, while you check assumptions at the door of your mind. Doubt gives you time to check the facts as best as you can discern them like a question mark at the end of a sentence. Doubt buys you time to visit your core values, your conscience, to see if this new information or situation resonates with who you are. Doubt allows you to suspend judgment, like a comma mid sentence, long enough to ensure that you are operating out of your highest self.

Doubt enables you to build a worldview, religious or otherwise, that is reasonable and resonant. Doubt is also the cornerstone of American democracy. The constitution protects the right to doubt and dissent. In fact the whole system is built on the need for doubt and dissent. Biannual elections in a multiparty system with an ongoing and ever changing balance of power are all part of our democracy. Without doubt, this system would become a rubber stamp for the ruling ideology and we would be its pawns.

Doubt is part of the push and pull of democracy and power. Take for example this urban legend about conflict. It is a radio conversation between a US aircraft carrier and Canadian authorities.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend YOU divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH—OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Think of doubt as your own in built lighthouse. You can argue with it, but you might be sorry. Doubt and doubt boldly. Doubt religious beliefs, all of them and do it without fear of punishment. In fact there can be NO religious faith without doubt. Without doubt there is no leap of faith. Without doubt you won’t uncover new truth and fresh possibility. You are liberated from believing things because an ancient books says so, or because tradition tells you that there is some divine revelation of truth. We are now several hundred years into a revolution of free thought that began with philosophers like Descartes who said that the very basis of being human is the ability to think for yourself. Human reason comes before any unchanging divine source of authority. This is called putting Descartes before da source.!@!@

Doubt your government, even your preferred party or leader. Do it without fear of being branded unpatriotic or disloyal. There is nothing unpatriotic about questioning political leaders. On the contrary, it is unpatriotic NOT to doubt and question leaders. Trust your beliefs, your God, your leader, your party, enough to question and challenge everything you hear and see. If they can’t stand up to your doubts, then there is something weak and ineffective about them in the first place.

In any case, there is no suppressing doubt. You can pretend it’s not there, but it is there and it will be heard. When inquiry knocks and you don’t answer, doubt will come through the window. Let it through the front door.

Doubt Your Doubts

Doubt is healthy and good, but it also has its limits, beyond which it becomes destructive. 14th century French Philosopher Jean Buridan posed a hypothetical situation where a donkey was placed exactly midway between a stack of hay and a pail of water. Assuming the donkey will always go to whichever is closer it will die of both hunger and thirst since it will be paralyzed by the impossible choice. Just as too many choices creates overload, too many questions can also lead to paralysis. By all means doubt and doubt boldly. But don’t let your doubt become an excuse for inaction or division.

What are some checks and balance you can place on doubt itself? Decide what is a core issue as opposed to a peripheral issue. This is what has always happened in theology. Many people have doubted the miracles recorded in the Bible but not doubted the resurrection. The resurrection has been a core issue for many people while the historic record of the miracles has been peripheral. Now I would say that a physical resurrection is also a peripheral issue. The core issue to me is the belief that resurrection happens all the time. I doubt that the resurrection of Jesus ever happened. I don’t doubt that fresh starts and new possibility are always lurking at the edge of our futures. The belief in fresh starts is another way of doubting the status quo. Doubt is your ally. It liberates you from believing unbelievable things. It also liberates you from passively accepting your circumstances.

The same thing happens in the relationship of the global community to Islam. We accept headdress and we allow prayer and rituals to break the daily flow of work life, but we don’t accept violence towards women and children based on a particular interpretation of the Koran. The first we see as peripheral and the latter we see as a core issue of human dignity. Consider the same scenario in your own life. Doubt other people’s beliefs and worldviews by all means, but don’t break relationship over your doubts and certainly not over peripheral issues.

Is doubt making you cynical and jaded? It might be time to put doubt to the back of your mind for a time and bring yourself back to gratitude and optimism.

From Doubt to Action

Avoid becoming a fanatic with your convictions (ALL TRUTH). Avoid becoming a cynic with your doubts. (NO TRUTH)

Fanatics take convictions and make them absolute truths for all people and in all times. They fight to the death for their truths. The fear cognitive contamination so they watch the TV networks and read the news sources that confirm their own prejudices. I don’t need to say more about the dangers of fanaticism. The other extreme is probably more relevant. Most of us are comfortable with a pluralistic approach, tolerant of diversity and ready to listen. So how do you avoid being so open that you lose all conviction? Once you see the partial truth in many perspectives, how do you take urgent and decisive action? After all even a pancake has two sides. Every issue has another angle.

There is no easy answer, but it involves some balance of your own conscience and openness to other perspectives. Maybe you could think of your own conscience as being a tent. Keep yourself firmly planted within your own tent, but also keep one toe, maybe one foot outside the tent, maybe even in another camp. There have been some famous minds that have changed. Ted Kennedy was formerly pro life before becoming a champion of the pro choice movement. Elizabeth Hasslebeck, the notorious and outspoken conservative on the TV show The View has recently changed her mind about same sex marriage after having dinner with Melissa Etheridge. Who else could Melissa have dinner with?

If you doubt the need for action, spend some time with people and species who are suffering. Your doubt will become a spring board for action.

Prominent genome scientist Craig Venter used to believe that there was unlimited resources and that the carbon fuel problem would be an issue that future generations would have to solve. Now he has come to realize the urgent danger to the planet and has become an activist for immediate global warming education. How did this happen? Information and diverse opinions.

These, and many more people, have moved from doubt to action. You can too. Use your doubt to gather new information and mix with new people, and your doubts will translate into compassionate and effective action. When the weight of your conscience tells you that an injustice is afoot, act urgently and decisively, all the time knowing that the situation might change, and you will change. All is dynamic and open.

I honor the free thinking, open minded, questioning spirit in you. Doubt boldly and act decisively. Namaste.

The Balance of Power

Power hangs in the balance in American politics. Doesn’t it always? That’s the pendulum of democracy. Absolute power corrupts, but balanced power corrects. It’s the same with personal growth. Power always hangs in the balance. It rests in the middle. There is no absolute power, just a balance of sometimes competing interests. The pendulum swings between acceptance and change, conviction and doubt, optimism and despair, nature and nurture. Peace lies in the elusive resting space in the middle.

Are you anxious about the results of the elections, maybe contemplating your biannual move to Canada? What do you do with this anxiety? How do you face massive social problems without becoming paralyzed and inactive? How do you have firm convictions without becoming judgmental? How do you balance being and doing when the “to do” list is so long? Can you take resolute action without absolute knowledge? These are some of the questions raised by the balance of power.

There is a time and place for introspection, simply being. But there comes a time when to use the words of William Shakespeare, we must be “as good in act as we have been in thought.” The point is that your thoughts and your actions need to be in harmony. Action without thought is like shooting without aim. Thought without action is like staring at the sea and wondering why you’re not crossing it.

There is also a time and place for non action. Maybe you have heard the expression, “Don’t just do something. Stand there.” Sometimes being slow to act is wise. The phrase also hints at the quality to action that keeps you balanced. Stand firmly grounded in who you are at your core before, during and after action. This is balanced action.

Balanced action is nicely captured in the Taoist phrase wu wei, as in “it’s either my way or wu wei.” Wu wei is best translated as effortless effort. The Hindu scriptures, the Vedanta, uses a similar phrase “playful action.” Wu wei is a bird in flight or a horse at full stretch. Wu wei is a Roger Federer backhand or a Tiger Woods swing. Note that it’s possible to have wu wei in certain areas of your life and very little mastery in others.

Wu Wei is something I aspire to practice more often in my life and in more areas of my life. I aspire to action that is effective and makes a difference, but action that also increases the peace rather than adding to the drama. Imagine the state of our world if all the frantic, nervous energy around these elections was channeled into playful action.

Peruvian Shaman, Carlos Castaneda described effortless effort like this-”If a warrior is to succeed at anything, the success must come gently, with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.”

The Bible’s creation story offers a beautiful example of wu wei. There’s something playful about the whole story. The Creator warrior of Genesis seemed to have effortless effort down pat. Psalm 104 got it in one sentence, describing the Creator “stretching out the heavens like a tent.” You have to have a sense of fun to parallel the creation of the universe with pitching a tent. All I can say is that we’re very lucky that I wasn’t the creator. If you had seen some of the tents I’ve pitched in my time. The universe would be collapsing back in on all of us in the middle of a rainy night. Creative energy manifests beauty out of raw imagination and whatever resources are available at the time.

Wu wei is clearly something we all aspire to, but rarely achieve. Don’t beat yourself up. Trying not to try is not the wu wei way. You don’t have to solve all the problems of the world. You don’t even have to get close to it. Just take one step in one area of your life and make it a goosestep to remind yourself that this can be fun. Sometimes the only thing stopping action is that you get in your own way. Get out from under your own feet, and get active.

How can you tell if you are acting with too much effort? You see it in the mirror and you feel it in your body. You look and feel miserable. Maybe you even need to feel miserable to purge your guilt. Wu wei is action that is pure joy to perform. You aren’t purging any guilty conscience or fearful karma. You aren’t trying to prove you are a good person, and you don’t need to be thanked for effortless effort. You often don’t even realize you’ve done anything.

A story out of the Taoist tradition captures wu wei- a woman accidentally fell into the river rapids leading to a high and dangerous waterfall. Onlookers feared for her life. Miraculously, she came out alive and unharmed downstream at the bottom of the falls. People asked her how she managed to survive. “I accommodated myself to the water, not the water to me. Without thinking, I allowed myself to be shaped by it. Plunging into the swirl, I came out with the swirl. This is how I survived.”

The Tao Te Ching says, “The Master can act without doing anything and teach without saying a word. Things come her way and she does not stop them; things leave and she lets them go. She has without possessing, and acts without any expectations. When her work is done, she takes no credit. That is why it will last forever… For those who practice effortless action, everything will fall into place.”

Seize the moment with passion and conviction. Act decisively without fully knowing the personal cost. Trust your wise knowledge that can tell the difference between what can and should be changed NOW, and what is best left alone, at least for the time being. Your effortless action is an antidote to despair. Playful actions make your life long dreams a present reality.

Merge your actions with the flow of life, seeking the purest of motives and the broadest of compassion. When creative power is balanced, the game plays the player, music composes the composer, the poem writes the poet, you can’t tell the dance and dancer apart, the dream and the dreamer become one, subject and object merge, and all of life gains a natural flow. Action becomes easier, less anxious, more joyful. Wu wei open doors you never imagined and hadn’t even seen.

If Election Day has left you feeling all at sea, take a long look at the oceanic wisdom that resides deep within you. Stand upright and strong at the shore. Then dive in. But make sure it’s a cannonball or a can opener, or even a belly flop. It’s got to be fun, or else you could make a big splash with little effect.

You’re making a difference in the world, and you’re having fun doing it.

Soulseeds offers “Secret agents of Kindness” cards for children (Home editon and School editions) that teach kids that kindness can also be great fun. This is a perfect gift for a classroom or home to remind all children that they can make a difference in the world and have fun doing it.

Unmasking Fear and Evil

Let me start by asking you a question. Which is better — heads or tails? Of course it’s a nonsense question. You could tell me that you prefer tails because it has a more interesting pattern, but this doesn’t make tails better than heads. Or else you could tell me that you prefer tails because you called “tails” in a wager but your personal gain doesn’t make tails better than heads. As we used to say when we were kids, “Heads I win. Tails you lose.” It doesn’t make sense to ask if heads or tails are better because heads and tails are simply two sides of the one coin. Neither is better than the other. In fact heads needs tails in order for it to have any meaning.

We tend to want to make things better or worse. As Shakespeare said, “Nothing is either good or bad. But thinking makes it so.” We dwell in judgment of what’s better or worse, good or evil because it makes us feel in control and self righteous. It’s a classic win/lose. Heads I win. Tails you lose.

The reality that we so often forget is that life is one. The breath’s exhale may be more satisfying, but without an inhale there would be nothing to exhale. Winter’s cold may be bitter, but without it we would have no appreciation for summer’s warmth. Music would not be music without the spaces between the notes and pleasure would have no meaning without pain. As the poet Keats said, “in the very temple of Delight, Veil’d Melancholy has her sovran shrine.”

The Chinese have the visual symbol of the yin/yang to describe the oneness of life. The symbol is a circle broken into swirling halves. One half is white with a black dot in it. The other half is black with a white dot in it. Both halves need each other to create a whole circle. The small dot is a reminder that nothing is ever all one or the other. They exist in relationship to each other. Life is one piece. We don’t know the end point. There’s always more to come, more than meets the eye, more than our hasty judgments can possibly understand.

Either/Or Thinking

Our desire to judge everything as either/or, good or bad, is the root of so much suffering. When you think you are on the side of right, you feel you can justify extreme measures to stop the evil and maintain your control. Do you remember the 1960’s TV sitcom called “Get Smart”? The secret service goodies are called Control. The baddies work for a terrorist group called Chaos. In one episode, the villain traps Max and 99. Max tries to threaten him saying, “As we speak General Crawford and one hundred crack paratroopers are landing on the island.” The baddie just laughs. Max tries again, “Would you believe J Edgar Hoover and ten of his friends.” The baddie laughs again. Max says, “How about Tarzan and a few apes.” The villain continues to laugh. Finally Max tries the old exploding cigarette trick and blows the terrorist off a cliff to his death. Agent 99 watches in horror and then comments to Max, “You know, Max, sometimes I think we’re no better than they are, the way we murder and kill and destroy people”, to which Max replies, “Why, 99, you know we have to murder and kill and destroy in order to preserve everything that’s good in the world.” I can still remember the distorted look on Max’s face as he realized the absurdity of what he had just said.

We have more subtle ways than Maxwell Smart, but we do the same thing. Someone has to be the enemy in order to feel good about ourselves. Lets think- Muslims. We can make Muslims the enemy. We can make Obama the problem, or the tea party. Big government- that’s the problem! We’re on a slippery slope into socialism. That’s the problem. We create an either/or worldview, and then we wonder why the suffering never ends.

The dot on the yin/yang symbol is often a shadow, or a blind spot. It’s the part of life that frustrates or annoys you. It’s the person you can’t forgive. It’s the limiting belief you can’t let go. It’s the trigger for your anger. Until you befriend this spot, it will continue to gnaw at you and manifest as conflict for yourself and others. Maybe the dot is President Obama, and instead of respectfully disagreeing with him you make Obama the Angel of Death. Maybe the dot is the Tea party, and instead of respecting the difference, you decide that all tea baggers are racist. Maybe the dot is Muslims, and instead of understanding Islam you decide that all Muslims are terrorists.

The desire for a black and white worldview, where you can easily control the world by putting everything into neat boxes of right and wrong, good or evil, is the root cause behind so much personal and global suffering.

Both/ And Thinking

In the lead up to the elections this week, we have been subjected to a typical barrage of political judgments, and we buy right into it.

As you consider your democratic responsibility to vote, keep a little perspective. By all means, express your strongly held and carefully considered opinions. Just have a little humility to remember that you have a partial truth and so do the people you disagree with. Yes, even the tea baggers. They too have a partial truth. They believe that there is something broken in Washington. They are right about that. It’s just that Obama didn’t break it. Democrats didn’t break Washington and nor did Republicans. That was a team effort. The tea party has a partial truth, but also a large blind spot when it comes to blaming Obama. Obama is a convenient excuse so that they can avoid facing their unresolved inner frustrations.

The great psychoanalyst Carl Jung offers a wonderful thought for election time and any time you find yourself reacting defensively when he said, “Anyone who perceives his shadow and his light simultaneously sees himself from two sides and thus gets in the middle.” Get in the middle of yourself where you see clearly, where you see your frustrations and prejudices for what they are, where you stop blaming other people for your unhappiness. Obama is not the Angel of Death and all tea baggers are NOT racists. All Republicans are NOT homophobic, and all Democrats are NOT socialists.

Work towards both/ and thinking wherever possible. It’s not about freedom OR responsibility. It’s about responsible freedom. It’s not about big OR small government. It’s about effective government. It’s not about employment OR ecology. It’s about green jobs and a holistic approach to the economy that incorporates the triple bottom line of people, plant and profits. It’s not about free markets OR centralized intervention. If we have learnt anything out of the economic crisis it is that we need both. It’s not about the needs of America OR the needs of the world. America’s needs are intimately related to the needs of the world. It’s not about your personal needs OR the needs of others. You become so much more of who you are when you include others in your perspective. Both/and. Find a place for it all, and once that little dot is no longer a blind spot but a celebrated diversity, you will be at peace with yourself and enemies will at last become friends.

All Are One

I caught a short video clip of Jon Stewart’s sanity rally last weekend. Over 250000 people gathered in DC, and Stewart offered a beautiful analogy for both/and thinking. He showed an image of thousands of cars converging on a tunnel somewhere in New Jersey. In each car were different people with different perspectives- Muslims, Republicans, gays, Christians, Democrats, atheists, Despite all the differences, these thousands of cars were doing what we do every day of our life. They were working together. One by one, they merged from 15 lanes into one. One by one, they said to each other, “you go first.” “You go first.” As he said, it’s only in Washington and on Cable TV that people live a completely either/or existence. In the real world, we give and take all the time. We include and collaborate. The light at the end of the tunnel is not New Jersey. The light at the end of the tunnel is the spacious freedom of inclusive thinking.

Does this mean you shouldn’t have opinions? No. Have strongly held and carefully formed opinions. Live passionately. Be informed. Hold convictions. Vote. Please vote. It is right to form an opinion about which of the partial perspectives you most resonate with. Vote for the person or party that in your opinion has the healthiest partial perspective. But remember that it is only a partial perspective.

As for me, I can’t vote as a non-citizen. If I could vote, I would want to get beyond the broken two party system and seek for something more inclusive and transformative. In the meantime, I could find a preference between the two parties if I needed to but I hope I would have the courage to hear the truth in each.

Non Judgment Day

Unfortunately, religious worldviews have encouraged either/or thinking. The idea of a judgment day is part of the problem. I don’t relate to a God or a story that divides people into good and evil and separates them like farm animals.

A few years back I read an interesting novel by Gerard Donovan called Schopenhauer’s Telescope. It is set during an unnamed European civil war. Most of the novel involves a conversation between two men, one supervising the other one who is digging a hole that will become the mass grave of the town’s war casualties. The author offers an ironic image of Judgment Day where God becomes confused. Is it those on God’s right who will be saved or those on the right side of the group facing God who will be saved? God’s right or ours? The evil shrug their shoulders self righteously as they skulk off into heaven, while the good people burn in hell with their mouths wide open in self righteous disgust.

My vision is a worldview where NOONE burns in hell, but I appreciate the confused image of Judgment Day. War, politics, religion, life- it’s not black and white with people carefully corralled into left and right, right and wrong, good and evil. It’s always a mixture of both. There’s always a partial truth and there’s always a blind spot. What is yours?

Starting today, break out of the cage. What better day than Halloween to unmask the demons and face them directly. Once you’ve unmasked the demons you realize that they are nothing other than yourself in some unconscious guise. Face them, don’t erase them. Befriend them and let them be part of the circle of unity that is your life.

Live without fear by unmasking the root of your fear. Let me end with a simple story. A man wakes in the middle of the night to find a poisonous snake coiled next to his leg at the foot of his bed. All night he lies awake frozen in terror, hoping that the snake won’t bite him. As dawn breaks he suddenly sees that the snake was no snake at all, but rather a belt he forgot to put away. Once he sees clearly, the snake disappears, the fear is gone and he is filled with peace.

Happy Halloween to you and responsible voting this week. May you see clearly, may all fear be gone and may you be filled with peace. Namaste.

Unmasking Fear

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. James Arthur Baldwin

Have you heard the vampire pick-up line: “What’s your type?” Hopefully now you are sucked in to the theme. So what’s your type? I don’t mean blood type, but personality type? What masks do you store in your personality kit bag? Halloween is a great time to reflect on the masks that hide your fears, and decide which ones, if any, are serving you.

Ancient cultures lived in dread of winter because of their superstitious beliefs that winter would only end if the gods returned from the underworld. Many believed that during this in-between time of year, the veil was lifted between the world of the living and the world of the dead and spirits moved freely back and forth. Their rituals were an attempt to appease the spirits and maybe purge their fear.

Our Halloween celebrations grew out of these ancient ideas. Kids dress up as people and figures that seem far away and sometimes scary, and dance on the line between reality and make-believe. They wear masks as if to poke a little fun at fear and claim some autonomy. We let kids walk the streets at night in supervised ways so that they get a safe taste of night life.
As mystery author Nevada Barr writes, “Halloween traditionally was the night we were given the freedom to explore the dark — not to find and be the evil but to see that the night was as beautiful as the day, that we were powerful, others were kind, that there was candy behind those closed doors and strangers who gave us treats….. On Halloween, we learn we can meet with our demons; that monsters are really and truly just us in other guises; that we can survive this interface. We learn that we are trustworthy; that our parents can dress us as demons, send us out into the night of demons to move among the demons and yet trust us to do nothing worse than to beg candy off the neighbors.” Seeking Enlightenment…Hat by Hat.

The Hopi people have a fascinating rite of passage for their children. When they are young, the children experience a ritual during the corn harvest. Kachinas, masked holy men, parade into the tribe’s circle, bless the corn and bring gifts to the children. At the age of initiation, teenagers are taken to an alternate harvest festival. During this occasion, something surprising happens. Instead of dancing, the Kachinas stand directly in front of the children and remove their masks. These men, whom the children had always thought were gods, are revealed in fact to be their uncles and neighbors. It’s a coming of age ritual, where otherworldly magic gives way to ordinary miracle. It’s a way of showing the kids that all of life, even the most ordinary people and situations, are full of divine wonder. They don’t need to live in fear.

Masks are important. They protect us, and its right to protect yourself. I think back to 9/11, and people running helter skelter through the streets of lower Manhattan with their masks protecting them from the dust and ash. I think of people at airports, protecting themselves from the swine and bird flues. Masks are useful for so many purposes. Humor can be like a mask, calming a tense situation. Masks protect your fragile sense of self worth. They give you a way to decide how much of yourself, and which parts of yourself, you reveal to the world.

Masks are healthy as long as you remember that it’s a mask and not the real you in any permanent sense. Beyond the masks lies your true self. Beyond the masks lies a life with less fear and defensiveness. Beyond the masks lies your divine essence. Theologian Marcus Borg describes the Christian idea of the trinity like this, “To speak of one God and three persons is to say that God is known to us wearing three different ‘masks’… in three different roles”. The Greek word for “persons” as in “God in three persons” is better translated as “masks.” Like many ancient cultures, the Greeks and Romans of Jesus day used masks and drama to celebrate the ever changing mystery of life in their theatres and celebrations. The masks were a way of connecting with the gods, by reflecting the image of the gods in a safe and respectful way.

Maybe that’s why many traditions speak of one God. It’s not because there is a single being out there in the way we think of beings. It’s because there are moments beyond masks when you feel completely at ease, one with yourself and others. In those moments, God is inner peace and outer unity. It’s a beautiful experience to finally realize that you no longer need to be afraid of the God of your understanding. God, by any name, is an experience of life as it is – transparent and pure, without pretense and defensive boundaries.

The Lebanese poet, Kahlil Gibran, tells a beautiful parable about life without masks-

You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen,—the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives,—I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, “Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves.”

Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.

And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, “He is a madman.” I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, “Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks.”

At moments when you lose your fear and know that no circumstance, evil or dark night of the soul can crush you, your bare face and naked soul are touched by the sun and you dance in the oneness of life.

Wear your masks mindfully and know that they’re important, but they don’t define you. You can wear the mask of the strong one for now, knowing that it won’t always be this way. You can be the extrovert who opens doors to new friendships or the calm introvert who grounds the tense situation, but neither introvert nor extrovert fully defines who you are. They are just masks you wear for a time and purpose.

You dance in relationship most gracefully when you know how to move between the various aspects of who you are. The more familiar you are with your own masks and personas, the more you realize how temporary and changeable they are. Every now and again, you remove the masks covering your essence and allow yourself just to be. The peace is transcendent. You let the masks slip and let someone see the real you behind all the personas. Whether in love making, or friendship, these are the precious moments of life, when you are stripped naked before another person and feel completely safe. In those moments you become one.

Happy Halloween! Fear is unmasked. Love lies beneath.

Ps. Please visit Soulseeds for affirmation resources. Fear and negativity don't need to control your life and rule your mind.

New Spiritual Community

We lost our friend Red Bird last Friday. Red was an exceptional human being. He exuded the peace of a man who knew he had lived a full life and left this world a more decent place. Red approached death the same way he approached life; with great integrity, with a sense of curiosity and an ability to connect with people around him.

He lived with his impending death for some time, but in his last months was able to complete his anti war novel The Scorned Ally set in Cuba in 1898. He met intentionally over the last weeks to say goodbye to family and friends, and even started a blog to write about the dying experience to encourage and inform others. He used every ounce of waking energy he had to live well right up to the point of death. Among his many life achievements, the image that will linger in my mind is Red’s smile- radiant, full of joy.

It makes you think doesn’t it? If you knew you had only a small amount of time left to live, would you waste a minute of it? Here is the reality- you do only have a small amount of time left to live. You have a terminal condition called mortality, and you have only a matter of years left to live. So live now while you have time. Make the most of every waking moment. I’m like the doctor calling you to his office to deliver news of your certain death. The diagnosis? Mortality! An unexpected illness might take you sooner than later, but one way or another death will visit. Be prepared for death, not by fretting over the afterlife but by shining all the light you have to shine while you are alive.

It’s amazing what the news of death can do to a person. There’s an episode of the TV show House where Wilson wrongly diagnoses a man with terminal cancer. He later realizes his mistake and calls the man in to explain. He expects the man to be elated, but finds instead that he is devastated. When he found out he was going to die the man discovered an incredible zest for life. He now wants to sue the hospital for ruining the urgent enjoyment of life that can only come from knowing that your death is imminent.

One of the features of a new spiritual community is that there is no fear of hell and judgment, but there is the reality of preparing for death by living fully now, accepting change and the encouragement to manifest your genius while you have time.

Together/ Alone

We come into the world alone and we will leave the world alone. But the most fortunate among us will be surrounded by good company like bookends on our life. Clarissa Pinkola Estes tells the story of an old man who is dying in Women Who Run With the Wolves. The old man calls his people to his side. He gives a short, sturdy stick to each of his family members and friends. "Break the stick," he instructs them. With some effort, they all snap their sticks in half.

"This is how it is when a soul is alone without anyone. They can be easily broken."

The old man next gives each of his kin another stick, and says, "This is how I would like you to live after I pass. Put your sticks together in bundles of twos and threes. Now, break these bundles in half."

No one can break the sticks when there are two or more in a bundle. The old man smiles. "We are strong when we stand with another soul. When we are with another, we cannot be broken."

Alone you are strong. In community you are even stronger. You have incredible inner resources. In community, you become a force to be reckoned with. In community you ask questions and consider the big issues of life in good company. In community you celebrate and commiserate the significant moments in life together. Lily Tomlin said, “We’re all in this together, by ourselves.” What a brilliant saying. Both things are true. You have absolutely everything you need to take charge of your life, and you are also surrounded by loving, supportive community. That is called a win/win- personal autonomy and community support.

In 2004 a significant study was undertaken in the US. Two questions were asked of the sample group.

1. Looking back over the last six months - who are the people with whom you discussed matters important to you?

2. How many friends outside of your household do you have that you see or speak to at least once a week?

25% of the people surveyed said that they had not discussed important matters with a single person in six months. This percentage has gone up rapidly in the last decades. The average number of friends outside of the home that people spoke to at least once a week was 2. This number has gone down in the last decades. With the advent of social media networks like Facebook, we are connected to more people, and know more about them, but have less face to face contact.

This is a major social problem, but it’s also a personal tragedy. Community is the antidote to the despair of isolation. This is where you practice being human together, where you learn forgiveness and collaboration. This is where you draw the best out of others and others draw the best out of you.

Cycling offers an awesome analogy for this win/win- drafting. Each rider takes their turn to ride out in front creating a wind shield for the riders coming up behind. Each rider is till peddling and working hard, but the effect of the whole group adds impact and strength. We need community- as an encouragement, as a source of wisdom and advice, as a check and balance to sharpen us and challenge us.

Membership

Community is important, but how involved do you have to be? Can you maybe just loiter at the edge of the community? What about membership? Do you have to go that far? Groucho Marx once sent a telegram to the exclusive Friar’s Club in Hollywood: “Please accept my resignation” he said, “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.” Woody Allen then took up the same joke in the opening scene of Annie Hall. He relates the joke to relationships. I wouldn’t want to be in relationship with anyone who would be willing to be in relationship with me.

Maybe you don’t feel worthy of being a member, or don’t feel ready to make a commitment. Maybe you feel like you are not the member type. Consider changing your preconceptions about what a member is. Being a member is not a trap of any sort. It’s a way of publicly affirming that you belong, that you care, and that you value the community.

There are no heavy requirements on membership. It’s not like the church I heard about where people had to meet with the minister for an inquisition before being admitted as members. Three couples were at this particular meeting with the pastor. The pastor explained his rule that all new members must go three weeks without being intimate. Three weeks went by and the first couple came back. The pastor said, “So how did it go?” “It was pretty hard, but we made it,” said the first couple.
“Welcome to our church,” said the pastor.

The second couple came back and the pastor asked them the same question. Their reply was the same as the first couple’s and the pastor welcomed them into the church.

The third couple came back and the pastor asked them the same question, and the man replied, “We were doing pretty well until last night when my wife dropped her fork during dinner. When she bent over to pick up it up my passions ran riot and, well, I just couldn’t contain myself.”
The pastor interrupted him, “I’m sorry, but you’re not welcome in our church.”
“That’s okay,” said the couple, “We’re definitely moving. We’re not welcome at the local restaurant either.”

That’s one reputation that would be hard to live down.

You don’t lose any autonomy or freedom by becoming a member. You strengthen the community which in turn strengthens you- it’s a beautiful cycle. The more you give, the more commitment, the more of yourself, the more you gain. There are no theological hoops to jump through, no statements to sign, no magical claims on salvation. There is just the excitement of a shared vision for a healed world.

Maybe you resist membership because you have been hurt by organized religion before, and you don’t fully trust any spiritual community no matter how progressive. C3 is not perfect, but it is forgiving. The actor Victor Mature was once denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor. He said, “I’m no actor, and I’ve got thirty movies to prove it.” We don’t claim to be anything special here other than human. We’re not following a script for how life unfolds. We experiment, learn from our mistakes, listen to each other and keep moving forward.

Something incredible happens when people come together with realistic expectations of human failings and a massive vision.

Shared Vision

Something incredible happened to a group of first century Jews at the time that is known as Pentecost. It was first written about 50 years after the event so the details likely evolved creatively over time. But something happened that changed their whole perspective. The miracle was not a miracle of speaking in tongues. The miracle was that everyone present heard in a way that made sense to them. They “got it” simultaneously. They caught the vision that earlier Hebrew Prophets had spoken about. It was a vision of unity. The incredible thing is that men and women of many cultures heard and understood the vision in their own way, children caught the vision, slaves heard the vision. They were all one. They were all together, by themselves.

How do we test the reliability of an unlikely story like this? We look at the results or the fruits of their lives. Don’t get distracted by skepticism about the details. Just accept that the story of Pentecost was like the fish that grew with each telling. Its not history to go by. It’s a story to grow by. We are told that they responded to this vision by living in communities of respect and justice. They shared what they had with the poor and created mindful rituals that included Jew and non Jew. They created inclusive spiritual communities.

Today we gather in spiritual community. We are from a number of different backgrounds. We use different language to describe the mystery that sources our joy. Some of us take more of a left brain approach- linear and logical. Some of us take a more right brain approach, creative and open ended. The miracle won’t be conformity. The miracle will be a shared vision that finds strength in diversity.

Let me end with a poem written by Red Bird that captures the essence of human potential.

SO SHINE!

As one translucent slice of time

That plays across the shining sun

But once. Every breath

Depletes the finite gift.

Even at birth, as we swim

Towards first breath, we catapult

Into space as glorious rainbows,

And fade just short

Of bridging the abyss.

So plunge into the dance, and shine.

- Leonard Bird