Mindful Activism; When Spirit Meets Action

Do you come here for your own spiritual growth, or do you come here to find your place in a world that is crying out for some healing love? Do you feel that life is hard and it’s enough to just survive, let alone thrive and help others to thrive? Do you want to make a difference in the world, but feel overwhelmed by the size of the problems and don’t know where to begin? Maybe these alternatives aren’t mutually exclusive. Sometimes service is the best path to spiritual growth. Sometimes the best way to get unstuck from survival mode is to step out and serve others, and enjoy the personal liberation that comes from action.

Sometimes the best way to free yourself from overwhelming feelings is to take action in one area of your life, and let momentum carry you forward in many areas of life.

There is a great scene in the 1970s Woody Allen film, Play It Again Sam. Woody Allen is desperate to hook up with a woman. So he walks up to a woman in a museum who is looking forlornly at a Jackson Pollock painting.

Woody Allen: That’s quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn’t it?
Women in Museum: Yes it is.
Woody Allen: What does it say to you?
Woman in Museum: It restates the negativeness of the universe, the hideous lonely emptiness of existence, nothingness, the predicament of man forced to live in a barren, godless eternity, like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void, with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless bleak straightjacket in a black absurd cosmos.
Woody Allen: What are you doing Saturday night?
Woman in Museum: Committing suicide.
Woody Allen: What about Friday night?
Woman in Museum: [she turns, frowns at him and leaves in silence]

You’ve got to admire Allen’s character’s plucky determination. It didn’t work mind you, but you have to appreciate his courage. Now think about activism from the same perspective. If you see the world as a hopeless and meaningless mess, what are you doing about it on Saturday? If you found out the world was going to end on Saturday, what would you do about it on Friday? Flirt with darkness and despair. Ask meaninglessness out on a date with your deepest compassion. Engage it meaningfully and you will make the world a kinder and more decent place. If it says no, find another place and time to engage suffering.

What is spiritual activism? On the one hand, it’s a very simple question. When you dig a little deeper, it becomes more complex. Let’s begin with the simplest definition. Spiritual activism seeks to lessen the suffering in the world. It’s spiritual in the sense that when one person is suffering, we are all suffering, because we are related. Listen to this awesome example of compassion in action.

Vedran Smailovic was a cellist in the Sarajevo Symphony. He lived through the hell of the Sarajevo Siege that lasted from 1992 to 1996. Like hundreds of thousands of other residents he suffered the bitter cold, the food and water shortages, the deadly bombings and sniper fire in the streets. Smailovic decided to use his art to ease the suffering of the people. He played his cello for free at many funerals during the siege. He once played while sitting amidst the rubble of the historic National Library. His heart broke for all the suffering, but instead of giving in to despair, he chose to do what he could to ease the suffering. One day in 1992, twenty-two people were killed by Serbian mortar fire while standing in line outside a bakery. For the next twenty-two days, one day for each victim, Smailovic brought his chair and cello to that same deserted street at 4:00 p.m, the exact time of the attack. With Serbian shells crashing around him, he played in full tuxedo to honor each person who had died. That is a wonderful example of spiritual activism. He did what he could, using the skills he had, to ease the suffering of his brothers and sisters in mourning.

His compassionate actions became the inspiration for folk songs, classical compositions, a novel and a children’s book called Echoes from the Square. What do his actions inspire in you? What gift, what song, what time, what talent, what action are you giving to our suffering world? The people in the world who are suffering and dying aren’t just people. They are your kin. Their suffering is your suffering,

God and Morality

One of the questions I am often asked is about morality in a progressive context. Some people think that God is the foundation of a moral absolute. The argument often runs something like this. If there is no God, then there can be no moral absolutes. To say that something is absolutely right or wrong implies that there is some standard that is beyond human authority, and beyond cultural consensus. All human and cultural standards are flawed and self interested. God, on the other hand, provides the basis for a fundamental standard of morality. How do humans know about God’s absolute standard of morality? The Bible reveals God’s words and thoughts. Or so the argument goes.

Morality in a progressive context doesn’t claim a divine authority, but at the same time an evolving understanding of God guides progressive morality. How’s that for a loaded sentence? Let me unpack it, beginning with an explanation of why progressives don’t claim divine authority.

For many of us, the divine imperative doesn’t work neatly any more. The divine imperative is best summarized by the car bumper sticker that says “God said it. I believe it. That settles it.” There are a number of problems with this idea. It’s impossible for anyone to say for sure what God says or thinks. People who say they know God’s thoughts are usually just trying to get a little divine backing for their own views. It adds a certain weight to an argument to claim God is on your side.

Take for example the ancient Hebrew people. The tongue in cheek story suggests that Moses dragged his feet down the mountain to let the people know about God’s commandments, and said to them hesitantly, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I got him down to ten. The bad news is that adultery is still in.” While I’m no advocate of adultery, the joke does point to the human factor in transmitting laws and morality from one culture to another. Take for example the number of commandments. Comedian Mel Brooks satirized the number of commandments. Just as Moses was juggling three large tablets, he began to say to the people, “I have 15 commandments….” Then he dropped one of the tablets and amended his speech, “I have 10 commandments……….”

In all seriousness, there is much debate about both the number and intent of the commandments. They seem to be culturally bound, implying that women are property, and that even slaves need a day off. The most glaring problem with the Ten Commandments is what to do when one commandment compromises another commandment. Many Europeans had to come to terms with this dilemma during the Holocaust. Should they hide their Jewish neighbors, thereby breaking the ninth commandment not to bear false witness, or be implicated in the murder of Jews, thereby breaking the sixth commandment?

While there is much that is positive in the Ten Commandments about living with integrity, they are clearly devised by humans and have little moral imperative for today.

So if there is no divine mandate for morality, does God have a role in morality at all? Most certainly. The prophetic tradition in the Bible offers quite a different approach to morality. The prophets were more interested in compassion for the most vulnerable in society than keeping the letter of the law or strictly observing ritual. They were especially critical of people who believe “correctly” but don’t live their values.

Maybe this is best illustrated by a story about Islamic pilgrimage. Muslims are expected to make pilgrimage at least once in their life time.

Abd Mubarak was on his pilgrimage to Mecca when one night he dreamed that he was in heaven and heard two angels having a conversation.



“How many pilgrims came to the holy city this year?” one of them asked.


”Six hundred thousand”, answered the other.


”And how many of them had their pilgrimage accepted?”


”None of them. However, in Baghdad there is a shoemaker called Ali Mufiq who did not make the pilgrimage, but did have his pilgrimage accepted, and his acceptance benefited the 600,000 pilgrims”.



When he woke up, Abd Mubarak went to Mufiq’s shoe shop and told him his dream.



”At great cost and much sacrifice, I finally managed to get 350 coins together”, the shoemaker said in tears. “But then, when I was ready to go to Mecca I discovered that my neighbors were hungry, so I distributed the money among them and gave up my pilgrimage”.

The prophets would approve of this action. They said that it was more important to treat people right than to be right. Compassion comes before correctness. In a progressive context, God is present in suffering, and in those who are suffering. So to turn your back on the suffering is to turn your back on God. From an evolutionary perspective, we include more and more people and species in our consciousness over time which means that God is present in those far away from us who suffer and even in the suffering earth.

What is the role of God in progressive morality? Not so much external standard, as internal motivation. God is not watching to judge how you perform. God is the compassion you feel, the neighbor you love and the evolutionary pull to love more and more people and things.

Matthew 25 and Spiritual Activism

Matthew chapter 25 tells the parable of the sheep and the goats, and being kind to people as if you are being kind to Jesus. It’s an interesting story. It’s set up like a double blind study of human compassion. The usual interpretation of this parable is that the sheep did the right thing because they were kind. So they went to heaven. The goats did the wrong thing because they ignored suffering so they went to hell. Let me suggest an alternate interpretation. Neither the sheep nor the goats did the best thing. The sheep just performed the lesser of two evils. It’s better to do something than nothing. It’s even better to know why you are doing good, and to whom you are doing good.

This takes spiritual activism to a new level of self awareness. Even though the sheep acted with great compassion, neither group had enough self awareness to truly see the people in need. It seems that while the goats were completely mindless, the sheep were offering handouts with their eyes shut rather than getting to the heart of radical activism by seeing the essential humanity and potential of others. This parable offers an interesting insight into spiritual activism. Do you know why you are doing what you are doing?

Imagine the scenario with a group of activists marching on the street with various placards. “No more bail outs for Wall Street,” says one. “Stop the War,” demands another. “Down with corporations,” shouts a third. And finally the guy at the end proclaims, “I hate my father”! Say what! The point is that we so easily project our own unresolved issues onto social structures; large corporations, government or whatever becomes the symbol for the over bearing parent figure.

Spiritual activism is mindful and self aware. You grow to understand why you feel passionate about issues, and who it is you are trying to help. See yourself in the corporation, and recognize that your mindless consumption is just as much to blame for social ills as large business. See yourself in the government and recognize your part in the election process. See yourself in the Middle East wars and recognize that every time you fill your gas tank up, you participate in the muddle of oil related conflicts.

According to today’s New York Times (March 7,2010), both the current and previous US administrations have awarded more than $15 billion to companies that defied American sanction laws by investing in Iran’s vast oil and gas reserves. Whether its national foreign policies or personal acts of consumption, we tend to be mindlessly duplicitous. The beginning of spiritual activism is mindfulness.

Jewish theologian Zalman Schachter offers a wonderful spiritual practice that gets to the heart of both the parable in Matthew 25 and mindful activism.

Once a year, he convenes an imaginary dinner party in his mind and invites everyone with whom he has had a run-in during the past year, everyone who has been cruel to him or his family.


In the course of this mental banquet, he goes around the table and explains to his guests that he has invited them to thank them for the various gifts they have given him during the past year. They have taught him to understand others a little better.

He has learned to adjust his expectations as most people are doing the best they can in their circumstances. He also thanks his guests at the imaginary banquet for helping him understand himself a little better.

Because of each of them, he has looked deep into his own soul and traveled back to his childhood in an effort to understand what there was in him that made him react so strongly to their actions. In the process, he has learned a lot about others and a lot about himself. For all these gifts he is grateful.

Maybe this is why there is such a strong emphasis in religious traditions on loving your enemies. It’s not because they are any more deserving of your love. They may be enemies for good reason. It’s because there is more light involved in helping your enemy; more self awareness, less ego, and greater compassion. Is it possible that God is present, even in your enemy or in the corporation? Who would you invite to your imaginary dinner party, and why? If you can’t invite all your enemies, invite some of them. If you cant love and accept them fully, love and accept them part of the way. Create a pattern of forgiveness in your life and create the habit of healing.

You Can Make a Difference

No matter how large the problems of the world appear to be, you can make a difference. Come back to the story of the Cellist of Sarajevo. The piece that he chose to play each day for 22 days during the Siege of Sarajevo in 1992 was Albinoni’s Adagio in G minor. It’s a powerful piece of music with a powerful story. It was put together from manuscripts that were found amidst the ruins of Dresden after the Second World War. This music had itself survived the firebombing and destruction of WW2. Miraculously it had risen out of the rubble and ruins of one city and echoed in the despair of another. It offered the sound of hope and fresh starts, and its message was brought by one man who was doing what he knew how to do best.

You too can bring a message of hope and fresh starts to a world that often seems to be trying to find meaning under the rubble of its own despair. You don’t have to solve all the problems of the world. Just love the world, do it mindfully and do it in your own unique way, and that will make all the difference. Together we are even more powerful. Together we will love the world, in an ever widening circle of kindness, until the day when love conquers all hatred and no one and no thing is excluded from love’s tender embrace. Namaste.

For Further Reflection-

What are the big issues you care about, and why?

Do you think there is morality without a divine standard?
In what ways are you growing in mindful activism?

What are you doing right now to love the world more deeply?

Ten Aussie Words I Miss

Diversity as a Path to Fuller Life

As an Aussie living in America, it’s a lot of fun learning about different cultures, even the minor differences between American and Australian culture. Diversity is beautiful, but I still miss Australia. Here are ten Aussie words that I miss hearing regularly.

1. Yabber- as in to talk (a lot). In good Aussie style most group of friends will include one person with the nickname “Yabbers”.
2. Wobbly- as in to chuck a wobbly or get very excited or agitated.
3. Not the full quid- as in, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, or a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.
4. Give a gobfull- as in to tell someone what you really think. The person getting a gobfull might be gobsmacked, as in surprised.
5. Ankle biter- as in a small child not a deadly snake.
6. Cactus- as in dead or not working. As in what happens if a deadly snake bites your ankle.
7. Daks- as in pants. If there is a way to shorten a word, Aussies will find it.
8. In the nuddy- as in your birthday suit.
9. Spit the dummy- as in give up.
10. Ear bashing- an alternative to a gobfull.

Diversity is beautiful. Every country has its own language and phrases, and many parts of each country have completely different accents and phrases. When I first moved to America, I was mistaken for a Floridian, Bostonian and even a Middle Easterner. Then of course there were people who thought Australia and Austria were the same place, but that’s another article that involves questions like “Do you have electricity in Australia?”

Every person, place and culture has its own unique experience. Our senses deepen our experience of life, and we barely even touch the depth of our senses. Each of us has a unique blend of sensory experience. One in every thousand people even experiences a phenomenon called “synaesthesia” which is the pairing of senses. They automatically link one sensory experience with a different sense; for example they smell sounds, see smells or hear colors. The most incredible thing is that many of these people don’t even know they have synaesthesia. The way they perceive the world is normal to them.

The way you perceive the world is a unique part of your divine expression. Hebrew religion says that all of life is made in the image of God, therefore everything is an expression of divine diversity. All the diverse parts of yourself are beautiful. You have your own accent on life. You have a spiritual dialect that is your unique gift in the world.

Life is so much fuller when diversity is celebrated rather than feared.Affirm diversity, your own and others. There is nothing to be feared and so much to be gained. Spread the seed of love and healing by celebrating diversity.

www.soulseedz.com

Seed of Diversity

Celebrate your contradictions. Be an extroverted introvert or a task oriented romantic. Be an at-home Mom who likes pole dancing or a meditator who likes heavy metal music. Don’t resign yourself to your quirks. Don’t even tolerate your idiosyncrasies. Celebrate your contradictions today and build them into your own unique style

Say to yourself: I am one of a kind. I am large and have space to hold diversity.

Seed of Sensation

Your senses are alive and connected. Do you see colors when you think of certain people or places? You may have moments when you smell sounds, see smells or hear colors. Certain words or music may evoke flavors or colors. Maybe you see music. Allow your senses to tease your imagination, and enjoy a sensual smorgasbord.

Say to yourself: My senses are finely tuned. My life is sensational.

Trinity- Loving Many Things

Why do you come to this progressive spiritual community on a Sunday morning? Some of you have traveled distances, past many mainstream churches, to be here. So what is the draw? You have a denominational smorgasbord to choose from, not to mention the Episcopal church have just installed vibrating pews. So why are you here?

I imagine among other things it’s because you want to feel that you are part of something larger than yourself, that you are not alone in your spiritual journey and that this is a place you can contribute to a movement of love and healing. I imagine you like the freedom to explore the real issues of life, and to question the aspects of the religious traditions that no longer make sense to you. One of those religious ideas that many of us find mostly irrelevant is the doctrine of the trinity. Today I want to offer a reinterpretation of the ancient doctrine of the trinity in the context of intimacy and relationships. Just because we are looking at a hoary old chestnut like trinity doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. Does it?

The Trinity; Father, Son and Holy Spirit were planning a holiday. As is true in many families, they were having trouble agreeing on what to do and where to go. The Spirit, being the artsy member of the divine threesome, suggested, “Let’s go to San Francisco. We can eat vegan food, go clothes shopping and get some new body piercings.”



”No, no, no,” said the Father, “They’re all so liberated in San Francisco, they’ll spend the whole time calling me ‘Earth Mother’ and it will just drive me crazy.”



So the Spirit sat back and thought. “I know, what about Jerusalem?” She said. “It’s beautiful and there’s so much history and culture.”



”No way!” the Son declared. “After what happened there last time, I’m never going back!”



At this point, the Spirit got annoyed and went off in a huff. Sometime later she returned and found that the Father and Son had had an idea they both thought was excellent:



”Why don’t we go to New York? We can go to Central Park and visit Wall Street” said the Son.



“Perfect!” cried the Holy Spirit. “I’ve never been to Wall Street before!”

I mention Wall Street intentionally. Obviously I could have substituted many places and the joke would have the same meaning. I mention Wall Street because it has come to symbolize what is so sadly lacking in our world. Wall Street is a stark reminder of days gone by, when life was extravagant. People got ahead relatively easily and we existed in a bubble of affluence. Recently, many people have come to realize that the extravagance was an illusion; here one minute and gone the next in a puff of smoke. We realized we wanted more out of life than the rat race of 1000 point stock market exhilaration followed by 800 point corrections.

It seems that many people around the world have simultaneously awakened to the realization that life is short, and this is the time to cherish essential things. Our desires ran ahead of our ability to know why we wanted things. Our ability to create wealth outstretched our will to use wealth in meaningful ways. Wall Street has become the symbol of the illusion.

I heard an interview with the actor Michael Douglas in the middle of the Global Financial Crisis. Douglas played the character of Gordon Gecko in the 1980s movie Wall Street. He made famous the line, “greed is good.” Douglas was being interviewed about one of his latest projects, unrelated to the economic crisis. The interviewer called him, “Gordon” and asked for his comments on the economy. Douglas replied, “My name is not Gordon. He is a character I played in a movie 20 years ago.” Gordon Gecko was a mask that Michael Douglas wore for the purpose of making a movie. In fact part of the point of the movie is how hard it is to retain a sense of reality in the ever changing world of Wall Street finance.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with masks. Masks are important. They’re the faces you put on to fit the need of the moment. You have lots of faces that you put on; a brave face even when you feel like crumbling, a subdued face even when you feel elated. You can play the clown to lighten a situation and you can play the quiet listener to let a friend know they are not alone. You face whatever life brings to you and respond accordingly. If you can remind yourself that it’s just a face you are putting on, and its not the unchanging essence of who you are, you can save a whole lot of pain and suffering,

There’s also nothing wrong with Wall Street per say. My sister lives literally on Wall Street and I’ve spent a lot of time there and experienced the many faces of Wall Street. On Wall Street you can visit Trinity church with its Gothic face, and Federal Hall with its ancient Greek façade. Not far from Wall Street is Ground Zero where you are reminded of how fragile this life is. When you look at The Stock Exchange building from my sister’s apartment, you are greeted by a 20 foot statue called Integrity. Now there’s an irony. I have an uncle who works on Wall Street. He used to have a corner on the market. Now he has a market on the corner.

There’s nothing wrong with the stock market. It serves a valuable function. The problem is when we forget that it’s constantly changing and not nearly as dependable as we want to believe.

Now here’s the connection with the traditional doctrine of the trinity.

Trinity- From Wall Street to Ancient Greece

Maybe you grew up in a church that sang, “God in three persons, blessed trinity.” Not three people mind you, but three persons. What a painful hymn! It always made me smile listening to adults singing this melodic hymn. I don’t know how they kept a straight face.

The way I was taught about the trinity didn’t make sense to me as a child and it didn’t make any more sense as an adult. I was told that there was Jesus, the man. Then Jesus was also fully God. Then there was the Holy Spirit as well. It was like me, myself and Irene on Steroids. It all seemed pretty absurd to me. Brazilian eco-feminist Ivone Gebara described the usual understanding of the trinity with tongue firmly in check, as “an older man, a younger man and a bird.”

People have puzzled over the trinity. When I was in Seminary, I was even taught that there is a hierarchy of authority within the trinity. That seems strange and quite dysfunctional. It reminds me of the awesome new television series The United States of Tara, about a woman with multiple personalities. One of Tara’s alter egos “Buck”, a Vietnam vet and the only male in the group, rules the other alters with an iron fist.

Most recently, people have attempted to understand the trinity without the hierarchy and without the unchanging sense of a male father, a male son and a bird like spirit. In his book “The Shack”, William Young has all three aspects of the trinity in one location at one time. He portrays God as a large African-American woman named “Papa.” Jesus is pictured as being a Middle Eastern carpenter. And the Holy Spirit, named Sarayu, is a woman of Asian decent dressed in blue jeans and a brightly colored blouse. This is a liberating possibility; that you can understand the trinity without the male focus.

There is another way to think of the trinity that doesn’t even involve separate beings. The word “persons” seems to be a mistranslation of the ancient Greek word for “masks”. So the trinity is really about the idea that God wore different masks. As Marcus Borg wrote, “To speak of one God and three persons is to say that God is known to us wearing three different ‘masks’… in three different roles”. Like many ancient cultures, the Greeks and Romans of Jesus day wore masks and danced to celebrate the ever changing mystery of life in their theatres and celebrations. The masks were also a way of connecting with the gods, by reflecting the image of the gods.

We tend to think of a person as an individual, a separate being. It wasn’t like this for the ancient Greeks. When they said “person” they intended something far more relational. Another word that is often associated with the doctrine of the trinity is perichoresis. It’s a technical word that basically means to dance together. We get our words “choreography” and “chorus” from this word. So God wears different masks, and they aren’t all separate. They dance with each other, never completely separate but also never the same.

What do you think of when you think of masks? I think of Halloween, and Mardi Gras, when we dress up as people and things that seem far away, but we bring them close with masks, take the fear out of them. I think of 9/11, people running helter skelter through the streets of lower Manhattan with their masks protecting them from the dust and ash. I think of people at airports, protecting themselves from the swine and bird flues. Masks are useful for so many purposes. They protect you. Just remember that masks are useful for a time, and not real in any permanent sense.

Trinity- Dancing with Masks in Relationship

So the trinity really seems to be about God holding out a lover’s hand to the world, uttering the words that you long to hear, “May I have this dance.” The grumpy German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance.”

Even if you are all elbows and left feet, you hold your breath, reach out your hand and follow the lead of the Holy.

Now apply the same thought to your relationships; whether it’s a romantic relationship, a dear friend or a colleague. When you are at your best, it’s like a dance where you match each other, step for step, pulsing and swaying with grace and style.

Wear your masks boldly and know that it’s important, but they don’t define you. You can be the strong one for now, knowing that it won’t always be this way. You can be the extrovert who opens doors to new friendships, but being an extrovert doesn’t fully define you. It’s just a mask you wear for a time and purpose. You can be the naughty nurse or the sultry pool boy to spice up your love life, but you know that when the lights come on, it’s just you.

When you think about the trinity, don’t be distracted by the number three. Three represents any number higher than two. Any quality or persona that you wear has its opposite. You may be an extrovert, but you have a hidden introvert in you as well. Its not that you are one or the other. You wear the mask you need to wear at the time. And you find third and fourth manifestations of extrovert and introvert. Twenty years ago, I took a personality test and the results came back that I was on the border between an introvert and extrovert. The facilitator said that if I did the test again a few years later, it could come back with quite different results. These things change over time. You can be an introverted extrovert in one situation and an extroverted introvert in another. You are a delightful contradiction, and an ever changing spiritual being on a human journey. You dance with your various traits until you find the necessary mask to match the occasion.

You do the same thing in your relationships, and rightly so. Do you ever find yourself stuck in a relationship? One person needs space. The other person needs connection. It feels like you’re at cross purposes, in a stale mate. So you dance in the relationship, until you find the third and fourth options, creatively combining space and connection as your choreograph your relationship.

Letting the Masks Slip

You dance in relationship most gracefully when you know how to dance between the various aspects of who you are. The more familiar you are with your own masks and personas, the more you realize how temporary and changeable they are. Every now and again, you remove the masks covering your essence and allow yourself just to be. The peace is transcendent.

Maybe you have moments when you bring that to your relationships. You let the masks slip and let someone see the real you behind all the personas. Whether in love making, or friendship, these are the precious moments of life, when you are stripped naked before each other and completely safe. In that moment you become one.

Maybe that’s why we speak of one God. It’s not because there is a single being out there in the way we think of beings. It’s because there are moments beyond masks where there is just the pure and radiant mystery of being. In those moments, God is the merging of two people as one.

Kahlil Gibran tells a beautiful parable about life without masks-

You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen,—the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives,—I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, “Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves.”

Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me.

And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, “He is a madman.” I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, “Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks.”

You know what he’s describing, because you have had moments like this. You drop your egoic attachment to your cherished ideas of what make you unique and separate and dance in the oneness of life. What initially feels like a loss proves to be a blessing. You are in love with life.

Loving Many Things

One last thought about the trinity. Vincent van Gogh said, “The best way to know God is to love many things”. Maybe the trinity is a metaphor for loving many different things.

Maybe you have special love for one person, but you also love many things. Listen to the way the poet Mary Oliver describes it-

I have been in love more times than one, thank the Lord.
Sometimes it was lasting whether active or not.
Sometimes it was all but ephemeral, maybe only an afternoon, but not less real for that.

They stay in my mind, these beautiful people, or anyway people beautiful to me, of which

there are so many. You, and you, and you, whom I had the fortune to meet, or maybe

missed. Love, love, love, it was the core of my life, from which, of course, comes

the word for the heart.
And, oh, have I mentioned that some of them were men and some were women

and some– now carry my revelation with you– were trees.
Or places. Or music flying above the names of their makers.
Or clouds, or the sun which was the first, and the best, the most loyal for certain, who looked so faithfully into my eyes, every morning.
So I imagine such love of the world– its fervency, its shining, its innocence and hunger to give of itself–
I imagine this is how it began.

– Mary Oliver, On Love

walkThis is how it works for me. I love my wife, Meg, with a tender love that I feel for no other person. I love my kids with a fierce love that I feel for no other children. I have another love and it includes many people and things. It includes groups, small and large, even stretching to include facebook friends I have never physically met. Yet I can honestly say that I love you, and we have magical moments when we are dancing together as one. I’m not teaching you, and you aren’t learning from me.

We are dancing together in the mystery of human relationship.

This I know is real, and essential. I offer it to you now. Namaste.

For Further Reflection-



What does the trinity mean to you?

What other ways do you experience God that you would include in your trinity? (eg lover, friend)

In what ways do you manifest different masks?
How have you experienced moments where you let the masks slip?

Unity in Diversity

“Multiplicity without unity is chaos; unity without multiplicity is tyranny.” Blaise Pascal

Unity requires the deft balance of a tight rope walker. If you tip one way, you end up wishy washy and pliable, terrified of conflict and unable to take a stand. If you tip the other way, you end up hard and inflexible, terrified of diversity and unable to bend your perspective. Somewhere in the middle, with the pole of discernment held firm, rests unity. Herein lies the delicate balance between self expression and social harmony, individualism and diversity, your own convictions and other people’s insights.

Maybe you have, on occasion, had to discern when to stand alone on principle and when to find common ground for the sake of a group or relationship. Anyone who has coordinated a group of free thinkers knows the challenge. It can be like pushing frogs in a wheelbarrow.

Rabbi Bloom was conducting his first service at one of London’s oldest synagogues. All was going well until he got to the prayers, and half his congregation stood up. Those still seated started yelling ‘sit down’ to those standing and those standing started yelling ‘stand up’ to those sitting. Although Rabbi Bloom was knowledgeable, he didn’t know what to do. He thought it must be something to do with the synagogue’s tradition.
After the service, Rabbi Bloom consulted Abe, the synagogue’s oldest member. "I need to know, Abe, what the synagogue’s tradition is with regard to the prayer. Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?"
Abe replied, "No, that is not the tradition."
"So the tradition is to sit during prayers?" said Rabbi Bloom.
Abe replied, "No, that is not the tradition."
"But," said Rabbi Bloom, "my congregation is impossible. They yell at each other about whether they should sit or stand and ..."
Abe interrupted, exclaiming, "Aha, THAT is the tradition!"

Now that’s my sort of congregation. I’d rather herd cats than lead sheep. All that bleating and conformity is unoriginal and uninspiring. I’ll take the unbridled freedom of frogs in a wheelbarrow any day. Religion, which you would expect to bring tolerance and respect to the table, seems to be one of the greatest impediments to unity. Catholics and Protestants battled for decades in Northern Ireland and now have an uneasy peace. Hostility between Jews, Muslims and Christians in The Middle East continues with no end in sight. Centuries old disputes between Hindus and Muslims continue in South Asia. This is just a sample of the multitude of religious wars that devastate the world.

If war is an impediment to unity, peace is only a stepping stone. There may be an uneasy peace in Ireland, but it is more tolerance than it is a celebration of diversity, more accommodation than it is unity. Until the relationship between Britain and Ireland is clarified unity will be fragile. Until Ireland is truly independent, and her unity includes political, social, cultural and economic equality, the work is not done.

Unity is not to be confused with uniformity. Equality is not to be confused with sameness. Unity celebrates the core differences and works towards a common purpose. It doesn’t drown difference in a sea of conformity. Unity is a tough act to pull off. It can sometimes be a justification for not rocking the boat. Unity that compromises principles and core values is dull, insipid, and largely irrelevant. This sort of unity will eventually destroy vision, not to mention break your spirit. Mahatma Gandhi did more for unity than most. Even he said, "Performance of one's duties should be independent of public opinion."

Unity is not something that can be enforced. It is by nature a persuasive energy rather than a coercive force. If unity is legislated, it can fragment groups who are unable to toe the line but may have some essential wisdom for the whole. The Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen wrote, "The majority is never right. Never, I tell you!" His argument was that the majority of people are fools, so the majority can’t be right. I have more faith in the majority than Ibsen, but he raises a fair point. Unity doesn’t necessarily mean that the majority are right. Unity, at its best, holds in balance personal freedom and social order. There are churches that refuse to allow gay and lesbian leaders for the sake of unity. This is fear masquerading as unity.

Diversity is the essence of humanity. There is an ancient Jewish saying that 'When a human being makes many coins in the same mint, they are all the same. God makes every person in the same image, God’s image - and they are each different.' The challenge is to see God's image in one who is not in your image. Unity is the celebration of common humanity in the midst of great diversity. Diversity is unity working itself out in a community of respect.

Osho said, “Divided you suffer; united, you dance, you sing, you celebrate.” I say yes to this if unity is oneness that doesn’t squash diversity. Jesus described this as a vine with many branches. They are all part of the one vine but at the same time they are distinct and diverse. Stand by your truth as one amongst many truths. You have a perfect, partial and passionate truth. So stand up and be counted. Just don’t be dogmatic or else you might fall off the tight rope.

Here are some affirmation seeds related to unity. You can find more affirmation seeds at http://www.soulseedz.com

Seed of Unity

Unity requires the deft balance of a tight rope walker. If you tip one way, you end up wishy-washy, unable to take a stand. If you tip the other way, you end up inflexible, unable to bend your perspective. Somewhere in the middle, with the pole of discernment held firm, lies the delicate balance between individualism and diversity.

Say to yourself: I am secure in who I am. I know when to stand alone and when to support community.

Seed of Community
Everyone you meet is part of a circle, a symbol of connection and equality. The circle is always able to grow and expand to include new people without losing its shape. May you celebrate your circle of friends as a beautiful unity without uniformity. May you be open to new friendships, and show gratitude to an old friend today.

Say to yourself; I am part of a beautiful circle of companions

Sex Education; A Pregnant Pause

A pregnant woman boards a bus. After taking a seat, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat. His eyes follow her and he seems even more amused. She moves a third time, and he starts to giggle. On her fourth move, he bursts into hysterical laughter. They both get off the bus at the next stop. The pregnant woman is furious and demands an explanation. “What exactly is so funny?”




”I’m sorry, ma’am,” replies the giggling man. “But I couldn’t help noticing you’re pregnant, and when you first sat down, you sat under an advertisement which read ‘Coming Soon: Million Dollar Baby.’ That was funny enough. Then you moved and sat under an ad that read ‘Sloan’s Liniments Remove Swelling.’ That cracked me up. Then you moved under a deodorant advertisement which read ‘William’s Stick Did the Trick.’ And I just couldn’t hold it in any longer when you moved a fourth time and sat under a tire advertisement which read ‘Dunlop Rubber Would Have Prevented This Accident.’”

It’s no accident that you’re here this morning. You are here for a powerful reason. Do you come here to snooze, or do you come here to muuuuse? Do you come here to conform, or do you come here to transform? The aim here is to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. So agree or disagree, but either way take a journey of free thought and new discovery.

There are plenty of churches you can go to if you want to be told what to think or do. You don’t come here to be told the answers. This is a safe place to ask questions in good company. When it comes to sexuality this is particularly true. While many churches present a back and white perspective on issues like sex before marriage and homosexuality, this community encourages you to think for yourself and do what is right in your own context and for the greater good. Most importantly, think without guilt or shame.

In an episode of The Simpsons, Bart’s teacher Mrs Krabapple is about to show the class a sex education video. She says,

Class, in order to explain why your hormones will soon make you an easy target for every smooth talking Lothario with his own car and tight jeans; I will now show a short sex education film. Ezekiel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parents’ wishes, you may now go out into the hallway and pray for our souls.

You are welcome here no matter who you are and where you’ve been, and no one is looking down their nose at your soul. Come as you are, and be yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin and affirmed in your spiritual journey. Whether you are happily married or divorced, dating or single, a teen or a senior, you have your own sexual journey. May you feel attractive and valued regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, height, weight, physical or mental ability. Free yourself to live in the infinite power of God within to create incredible love in your life. Is that an idea you can get excited about?

Sex Education

Little Johnny’s father said to him, “Its time to talk about the birds and the bees!” “I don’t want to know!” Johnny said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh dad,” Little Johnny sobbed, “At age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”

Let’s talk about sex and teenagers in this country. In 2005 and 2006, the rate of teen pregnancies was going down America. Then in 2007 and 2008 Jamie Lynne Spears was pregnant at 16, Bristol Palin was pregnant at 17 and the teen pregnancy movie Juno hit the screens. The rate of teen pregnancy climbed along with the headlines. Here are a few relevant statistics. I’m going to alternate some key statistics and some searching questions, using the Dwight Shrute communication method (for those who watch The Office).

Fact: The US has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the developed world and American adolescents are contracting HIV faster than almost any other demographic in the US.

Question: Is abstinence-only sex education effective?

Fact: Among the 33.9% of currently sexually active high school students nationwide, 23.3% had drunk alcohol or used drugs before their last sexual encounter. One in two sexually active youth will contract an STD by age 25.

Question: Is abstinence-plus safe use of condoms and contraceptives a better approach to sex education?

Fact: 40% of older adolescents surveyed believe that the contraceptive “pill” and “shot” protect against STDs and HIV.

Question: At what age should we begin talking to kids about sexuality?

Fact: A majority of both girls and boys who are sexually active wish they had waited. Of those who have had sex, more than one half of teen boys (55%) and the majority of teen girls (70%) said they wish they had waited longer to have sex.

Question: How do you know when you are ready to have sex?

Self-Esteem and Sexuality

One of the ways we can equip young people to be sexually responsible is by countering the media’s beauty myth with reminders that beauty is diverse and diversity is beautiful. One of the greatest tragedies of our time is the measurement of self worth by weight, especially for women. Study after study shows that girls who consider themselves either overweight or underweight are more likely to engage in high risk sexual activity; skipping condoms and using alcohol. Body image and self esteem are closely tied in our society. The ideal body type is narrowly defined and impossible to achieve. It is said that only 2% of women in the world believe that they are beautiful. What a tragedy! So many lives are ruined because of the beauty myth. It wasn’t always this way.

Song of Songs, Chapter 7, verse 2 said: “Your navel is like a round goblet which never lacks mixed wine; your belly is like a heap of wheat fenced about with lilies.” The Roman goddess Venus was said to be a plump and voluptuous shape, not to mention Mona Lisa, Lady Chatterley, and I could go on with beautiful women of history with curves.

Just in case the media hasn’t messed with your self esteem enough, then there are your kids. They chronicle each new grey hair, and wrinkle. My kids find my aging hilarious. They say to me, “Dad, you’re so old you remember when the Dead Sea was just sick.” “Dad, every time you suck your gut in, your ankles swell up.”

A senior citizen decided to visit the social security office to sign up for his benefits. Upon his arrival the clerk asked for proof of his age. When he reached for his wallet the embarrassed man realized he had left it home. After explaining his problem to the clerk, she replied, “Don`t worry, just open your shirt, and if your chest hair is gray you will qualify.” The senior citizen opened up His shirt and was soon signed up for His benefits. Upon arriving home, he related the story to his wife. She looked at him, smiled and said, “Too bad you didn’t drop your pants. You would have qualified for disability as well!”

The Song of Songs is a beautiful series of poems, most of which are written from the perspective of a woman who is protesting the beauty myths of her day. She says, “I am black AND I am beautiful.”

With people looking down on her, she takes pride in who she is and also how she came to look as she does. Keep in mind that this woman would have been of Middle Eastern complexion. Even so, she was darker than the standard of her culture. So instead of apologizing, she explains that it was through life experience that she became darker. She was toiling in the sun because her brothers were punishing her. It’s possible that the vineyard is a euphemism for sexuality. When she says she didn’t keep her own vineyard, she may be referring to losing her virginity to her shepherd lover. In other words, she was darker because she refused to conform to the patriarchal standards of her day. Her beauty is her independence.

She looks at herself and all she sees is beauty. Think of your body in a new way. Look at the wrinkles on your face, and see only character lines. You have achieved so much through hard work. Look at your spare tires, and see bay windows, with a panoramic view of your life experience. Look at the stretch marks and see a road map that tells the story of your journey. Look at your love handles, and see only lurve!!!!!!!!! Look at your arms with their extra padding and see wings that have soared like eagles. You are beautiful in ways that the media will never understand, and your peers may never appreciate. Your beauty is where your life experience meets your body.

I came across a moving description of beauty, written by a blind man after a date. 

“Occasionally, I allow myself to imagine that I see the inestimable and charged faces that we all suspect lie just below the surface. But in any event, I know you differently than do your hand mirrors or photographs. One thing I won’t know is whether you are, in the ocular sense of the word, beautiful. It’s not that I’m inured to beauty. Imagine that you’re talking to a woman who is sitting across a table from you. When you look at her, all you see is a shimmering cloud of light. On the one hand, you are able to observe people as mystical emanations of divine radiance. On the other hand, you don’t know what this woman looks like. So you pour some pinot grigio, and you listen. She’s talking about hats: late 19th-century “Gibson girl” hats with the flowers and jaunty brims. She’s talking about the first great era of catalogue fashion and a new kind of innocent loveliness. A sighted person might have trouble believing this, but if you’re having a nice time in a cloud of light, and you’re talking about beauty, the person opposite you is, in fact, beautiful.”

Beauty is so much more than skin deep, and so much more than society would have us believe.

When is the Right Time to have Sex?

When is the right time to become sexually active? Whether you are a teenager trying to understand sexuality for the first time, or a divorcee trying to plot the often confusing new world of dating, how do you know when it’s the right time to have sex?

Lets start with the basics-

Is it legal? Did you know that there is a law in Iowa that says you can’t kiss for more than five minutes and another that forbids a man with a moustache from kissing a woman in public? Each city and state has its unique, and sometimes bazaar, laws. Know the laws- the age of consent is 16 and many lives have been ruined by disregarding this law. One important consideration; is it legal?

Are you sober? One of the greatest risks to safe sex is alcohol. So buddy up and make sure at least one person is sober enough to think clearly all night. Watch your drinks. Don’t leave them unattended and don’t take drinks from people you don’t know. The next consideration; are you sober?

Do you have a safe sex plan? Apparently there is a woman suing a pharmacy that sold her a popular contraceptive jelly, because she ate the stuff on toast and got pregnant anyway. Be smart. Have a plan.

Are you doing it because you WANT to? There is so much pressure, and sexual bravado. Remember that your peers are probably not having sex nearly as much as they say they are. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it.

Are you comfortable talking about sex with this person? If you’re not comfortable talking about sex with someone, then there’s a good chance you are not ready to have sex.

Does the person make you feel safe and valued? How do you feel around this person? Do they make you feel safe? Do they treat you well?

Do you want to be that vulnerable with this person? Take a moment to think beyond sex? Are you ready to feel this vulnerable with this person once the lights are turned on?

If in doubt, wait. Waiting will only make it better when it eventually happens. In your own mind, you have to make a decision with all the information you have and weighing your own gut feelings. If in doubt, wait. Remember what Woody Allen said, “Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love.”

Why do you want to do it? Maybe the most important question to ask yourself is why you want to have sex? This week Tiger Woods made a public apology for the embarrassment he has caused many people. In his apology he said, “Craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security.” That’s quite an insightful, self aware comment. He seems to have realized that his chasing after particular airbrushed super model type women was actually a search for something else. Only he knows what he was searching for. It probably wasn’t sex and it probably wasn’t super models. What was it?

Are you looking to prove yourself through sex? Are you trying to find some inner peace through sex? Know why you want to have sex, and above all else know that nothing outside of you can ultimately make you happy and secure. To expect that of a partner is to create suffering and pain for both of you.

Be Prepared to Forgive Yourself

Lastly, remember that there is always a way forward no matter what choices you have made. You don’t know the future, and those times that feel like endings may well be new beginnings in disguise.

Oprah Winfrey had a baby when she was 14. Her baby died. Aretha Franklin also had a baby when she was 14 and another one at 16. Maya Angelou gave birth three weeks after graduating at age 16. Barack Obama was born to an 18 year old mother. Lebron James was born to a 16 year old mother. These are some of the most successful people of our generation. If you, or someone you know is in a situation they may regret, be prepared to forgive and move forward.

uniI end with a practice that I learnt from Rabbi Rami Shapiro. You might try this yourself. Try it first on yourself, then try it on someone you care deeply about.

Rami says that when the Hebrew designation for God, the letters Y-H-V-H are written vertically and in Hebrew it looks like a stick-figure drawing of a human being. Rami suggests that you “visualize the Name of God as the physical body of yourself or any other person you know.

The Yod is the head, the Hey is the shoulders and arms, the Vav is the torso, and the final Hey is the pelvis and legs.”

You are nothing less than the image of God, warts and wrinkles and spare tires and all. Can you treat yourself with that sort of kindness and forgiveness? Can you see others with that level of gentleness and respect?

Divine beauty in me greets divine beauty in you. Namaste.

For Further Reflection -

Why do you think the rate of teen pregnancies is so high in the US?


Do you think there is a place for “abstinence plus” sex education?



What inspiration/challenge do you take from the Song of Songs poetry?


Embodying Divine Sensuality

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking defeated. The egg mutters, to no-one in particular, “Well, I guess we answered THAT question!”

I guess they did. I want to begin by asking the question, “What comes first?” I mean, before I talk about sex, what comes first?

What framework or context can I put sex and intimacy into so that you see its enormous significance? It’s nothing less than your engagement with God; within, between and beyond. After centuries of religion taking God out of sex, I want to put your relationships back into a sacred threesome with God. I want to remind you that you are in a divine love triangle; you, your lover or friend and the holy. As Jack Cornfield said, “Enlightenment is intimacy with all things.” Spiritual growth is learning intimacy with more and new things all the time.

I’m not speaking just about sex. I’m speaking about intimacy more generally. If you are like me, you have a circle of people you are intimate with, and you may have one person that you share a unique intimacy with. When you are young you imagine that sex is the goal of intimacy. As you grow older, you realize that sex is only the beginning. So what is intimacy?

My favorite description of spiritual intimacy comes from 14th century Sufi poet, Hafiz-

Because the Beautiful One I love lives inside of you,
I lean as close to your body with my words as I can-
And I think of you all the time, because the One I love goes with you
Wherever you go, Hafiz will always be near.
If you sat before me, wayfarer, with your aura bright from your many charms,
My lips could resist rushing to you and needing to befriend your blushed cheek,
But my eyes can no longer hide the wondrous fact of who you really are.
The Beautiful One whom I adore has pitched Her royal tent inside of you,
So I will always lean my heart as close to your soul as I can.

Intimacy is when you let your defenses down and feel authentic, open and highly trusting. It begins with yourself, being willing to embrace all your beautiful, crazy, exquisite humanity. It extends to a close circle of family and friends, being willing to strip your pretence away and stand in the fire of vulnerability together. It may find unique expression with one person, the one with whom you let your guard down most easily. It then finds its ultimate expression, divine presence ravishing body and soul, finally sending you out to be a lover of life.

Putting Sex and Intimacy Back in Church

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.

The pastor shouted out “CROSS.” Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, “Lift high the cross.”

The pastor hollered out “GRACE”. The congregation began to sing “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.”

The pastor said “GREAT”. The congregation sang “How great thou art”

The pastor then said “SEX”. The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing, “Memories…”

I’m not pointing any fingers here, but we all have our dry spells.

Unfortunately, sex and intimacy are distant memories in the church, even for 87 year olds. Soon after the time of Jesus, the heavy Greek influence on Christianity meant that sex was relegated to the margins of spirituality. Aristotle argued that only men were sexual. Women were just the carriers of men’s seed. The only purpose for sex was procreation and the only purpose in intimacy was to please men.

Well, Mardi Gras and Valentines Day have collided this year, the perfect storm of sensual celebrations. They remind us of the Jesus who let a woman massage his feet with her hair and some cannabis oil.(Luke 7;36-50) Yes, you heard me. Long flowing hair and a little Aunt Mary. There’s no hint of anything romantic in the story; just deep sensual intimacy. She massaged her own tears into his feet and they became one. Nothing else mattered in the moment. It was just the two of them, unselfconscious and open. The judgment of those who stood around glaring went unnoticed. They were lost in each other’s intimate embrace. The incredible thing about Jesus was not his healing power. It was his willingness to touch another person at their most vulnerable point with absolute acceptance. Maybe there is healing power in intimacy.

The most transformative lesson in the story is about forgiveness. Have you made mistakes in the past? Have you let others down and been betrayed yourself? Are you jaded for intimacy? Are you protecting yourself from being hurt and in the process missing opportunities for the beauty of intimacy? Here is the good news- because of your deep hurt, you have amazing capacity for love and forgiveness. Let your guard down with someone close this week. For Christ’s sake, take a risk and get intimate. It will be worth the risk.

God and Bodies

Last week I spoke about experiencing God as the whole which is greater than its parts, and yet the whole is also present as potential in each of the parts. Another analogy is that of waves in the ocean. The waves are never separate from the ocean. They have their own unique shape and force, but they never leave the ocean. It’s not so much that waves move. It’s more that waves are the way that the ocean moves and flows. Now here is the bridge. Think of the world as God’s body; all of it, every bit of it, is God’s body. Each of the parts carries the potential of the whole. Each carries the potential of wholeness. Intimacy is one part of life. Intimacy carries the potential for wholeness.

Let this thought sink deeply into your psyche. Your body is part of God, even the parts you wish were firmer or more toned- all part of God. The muffin tops and spare tires- God. The bingo wings and awning over the toy store- all part of God. You are the way that God moves in the world. You are divine rhythm. When you experience intimacy, you sway with holy sensuality. Your love making is the way that God experiences orgasmic pleasure. You are the way that God massages the world with kindness.

Now let this thought sink in. Your emotions are also part of God. You are the way that God feels and desires and expresses sensuality. The Sufi Hafiz said, “Every desire of your body is holy; Every desire of your body is Holy.”

Stop pretending your desires are not there. Your desires are holy. Not every one of them needs to be acted on, but every one of your desires needs to be taken seriously and reflected on.


Before the ancient Greeks separated bodies from souls and Christianity institutionalized this separation, it was common for religions to see human intimacy as a symbol of God dwelling in human life. Maybe Hinduism offered the clearest expression of divine ecstasy. But Hebrew culture also had a beautiful expression of this in the Song of Solomon. The songs are a love poem between a man and a woman, but with the symbolism of divine union running through it. It says in Song of Solomon 8;6, “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for intimacy is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame.”

It’s a beautiful description of intimacy. In Hebrew culture, they avoided saying the holy name. So instead they used expressive adjectives like “raging” and “fierce passion”. Intimacy has many faces. It can be soft and yielding, gentle and receptive, like water and it can also be fierce and passionate like fire. Each of us has both extremes within us, and we often partner with people to complement those qualities in each other and create a whole.

Jerry Seinfeld had a nice description of fire and the difference between men and women. “Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.”

People are different. That’s what keeps things interesting. Just don’t imagine that difference equals separateness. We are each waves in the ocean of our shared intimacy, each wave unique and different but rocking and swaying to the rhythm of one ocean.

Gender and Intimacy

A recent survey showed that during their lives, an average man has sex with 7.3 different women, while an average woman has sex with 2.9 different men.

Maybe Billy Crystal had the harsh truth when he said, “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Is that fair? Maybe Darwin had it right and men have an evolutionary drive to spread their genes, while women have an evolutionary instinct to take care of the brood. Or maybe not. But hang on. Something doesn’t add up with the numbers. The numbers for men and women should be the same. Is there another explanation? People lie! Men exaggerate their exploits and women understate their intimate activity. Both are covering up the shadows of repressed sexuality.

How do you experience intimacy and difference? I’ve got a theory. It’s a generalization and likely to get me in trouble. But here goes anyway. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

My theory is that men need intimacy to empty ourselves of desire, and women need intimacy to fill yourselves up with new connections. That’s why generally speaking, men fall asleep after sex and women like to talk. Speaking personally, I can’t string two words together. Meg is ready to have a deep and meaningful conversation. She can talk all night, and I look like I’ve had a stroke.

Gender matters. We are equal, but we aren’t the same. Men generally fall in love with our eyes. Women generally fall in your love with your ears. Men and women are different. Understand differences. Avoid judgments. Make difference a strength. Work out what aspects of gender you want to stretch beyond and what aspects you want to accept.
You are a whole person, with nothing lacking. Just don’t confuse wholeness with perfection. Get intimate with your own imperfection and then you will be ready for intimacy with others. Practice intimacy with others and you will be doing your part in healing the world.

Lets Talk About Sex

There was a guy who named his dog “Sex”. Most people go for rover or spot. This guy went for Sex. He went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, told the clerk that he would like a license for Sex. The clerk said, “I’d like to have one too.” Then he said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” The clerk said, “You must have been quite a kid!”

When he got married and went on his honeymoon, he took the dog with him. He told the concierge that he wanted one room for he and his wife and a separate room for Sex. The concierge said, “Every room in the place is for sex.” He said, “You don’t understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The concierge said, “Me too.”

When he separated from his wife, they went to court to fight for custody of the dog. He said, “Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married.” The judge said, “Me too.” Then he told the judge that after he was married, Sex left him. The judge said, “Me too.”

Sex ran away. He spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over and asked, “What are you doing in the alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” He said, “I’m looking for Sex.”

His case comes up Friday.

When he decided to remarry, he told the minister that he would like to have Sex at the wedding. The minister told him to wait until after the wedding was over. He said, “But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.” The minister said he didn’t want to hear about his personal life and would not marry them in his church. The guy told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. Their family is barred from the church.

Sex is not barred at this church, at least talking about sex is not barred. On the contrary, it is encouraged. Lets break down some inhibitions to talk about one of the most important and soulful parts of life.

If it’s true that women on average think about sex several times a month, and men, well…….every 52 seconds, then lets talk about what’s on our minds.


I end with the beautiful image from the story of Jesus and his sensual, massaging Rapunzel. Let your hair down in some new way this week. Do something romantic. Trust yourself. Open up to a friend. Let down your hair and climb the golden stairs to intimacy. Deepen your connection to those you love, forgive all that is imperfect, and let your experiences which are many lead you to love greatly. Namaste.

For Further Reflection -

How do you define intimacy?

What does it mean to you to be intimate with all things?


How do you explain the differences between genders?
What other issues related to intimacy would you like to see discussed?

The Evolution of God

With Darwin’s birthday coming up, we again honor his groundbreaking work with our own celebration of Evolution Sunday. Surprisingly, the world is still divided on the question of whether the Genesis creation story is a literal account or a piece of cultural mythology.

One of my favorite comedians, Ricky Gervais, does a very funny satire on reading Genesis literally, and in particular the creation of light.

“God created the heaven and the earth in the dark. How good is that? I would have created a little bit of light, then taken a look and said, “Right, I need some planets.”

He went, “Zap. That’s everything. Let’s have a look. Brilliant! Then He made man out of dust…. just because he could.”

All I can say is thank goodness God created light before creating humans. Imagine the mess. We could have ended up looking like Mr and Mrs Potato Head. Ah, you’ve got to laugh or else you might cry. Especially when I tell you that a 2006 Gallup Poll found that 46% of Americans believe in some form of young earth creationism. 13% believe in straight evolution and 35% believe in evolution under God’s guidance.

Why is there so much fear of evolution? What is the threat? Maybe some people feel that their God is under threat if evolution is accepted. Some people seem to think that evolution is a slippery slope to atheism and lawlessness and general anarchy.

So my first question is, do you have to choose? Does it have to be a choice between God and evolution?

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that humanity had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell God that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we’ve decided that we no longer need you. We’re to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don’t you just go on and mind your own business?” God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the
scientist was done talking, God said, “Very well, how about this? Let’s say we have a man-making contest.” To which the scientist replied, “Okay, we can handle that!” “But,” God added, “we’re going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam.” The scientist said, “Sure, no problem” and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God looked at him and said, “No, no, no. You go get your own dirt.”


So the case could be made that God created the raw materials, and that evolution took over from there. As Carl Sagan said in Cosmos, “To really make an apple pie from scratch, you must begin by inventing the universe.”

It’s possible to believe in both God and evolution, even if you believe that God is the creator. A God that created the universe (in the dark) could create the world any way he or she wanted, including by evolution. The more important question is “what’s at stake?” Why does it matter if God created the world or not, and if it happened by evolution or not?

This is good news for some- you can have your cake and eat it too. You can have a thoroughly scientific approach without giving up a God that is utterly real, completely impartial, totally reliable, all-inclusive, immensely intelligent, completely loving and maybe even personal. This God is not only consistent with evolution, but is integral to the evolutionary process itself. The best part of all is that with this view of God and evolution, you are a co-creator of the future which is open and unplanned. Life is an adventure and the bricolage of seamless entities that fills your life with meaning are what compels you to live with joy, gratitude and purpose. Your God can keep growing and evolving just as you keep growing and evolving through the maze that is life. The most amazing truth is that once you have replaced a young earth, and a literal, static creation with a vision of dynamic and open processes stretching across vast eons of time, then you will fall to your knees in awe of the immense evolutionary symphony that you are an intimate part of.

Process Theology

You may have heard the phrase, “Process Theology”. It’s an attempt to describe God’s role in evolutionary process. Maybe its best understood with a fun story about a casino.

This guy is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: “Saul, sell your business.” He ignores it. It goes on for days. “Saul, sell your business for $3 million.”
After weeks of this, he relents, and sells his store. The voice says “Saul, go to Las Vegas.” He asks why. “Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas.”
He obeys, and goes to a casino. The voice says, “Saul, go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand.” He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing.
“Saul, take a card.” What? The dealer has –
“Take a card!” He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy.
“Saul, take another card.” What? “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!” He asks for another card.
It’s another ace. He has twenty. “Saul, take another card,” the voice commands.
“I have twenty!” Saul shouts. “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!” booms the voice.
“Hit me,” Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one.
The booming voice says: “Well blow me down! That’s unbelievable!”

Does that make process theology crystal clear??!!!!!! According to process theology, God is involved in creation in a persuasive but not coercive way. God doesn’t know the future, but lures you towards ever more loving and conscious decisions. There is a big difference between persuasion and coercion. It’s a little like the difference between removing a tantrumming child from a store (that’s coercion) and persuading a friend to leave an abusive relationship. The first may be appropriate, but it’s an adult/child relationship. When adults relate to each other, or to God as children, it often ends up being co-dependent. Adult/ adult relationships involve free will and people thinking and deciding for themselves.

Process Theology says that life is a series of experiences, and each one builds upon the ones that came before it. The interrelationship of all factors in each experience creates the future. God is always becoming with each evolving experience. You are always becoming with each evolving experience. It’s not so much that there is a right and wrong in each moment. It’s a different kind of knowing. You feel your way forward, with the vision unfolding as you take each step. The end game is not clear, but it doesn’t need to be clear. It makes sense as you go. You are at one with the situation.

At your best moments, you feel like life’s dance partner. The ballroom floor is the spinning earth you share. You flow around the room like a Latin dance goddess. You are at one with the seamless movement. You can’t even tell if you are dancing or being danced, leading or being led. Either way it feels good and right. You move with grace and style and improvise when the situation demands it. Of course some of you have seen me dance, and know that it’s not always pretty or stylish.

Process Theology and Synchronicity

The type of flow I am speaking of sounds a little like synchronicity. You create your own luck. Meaning and direction fall into your lap when you are open and receptive. I heard a nice story, apparently a true story, about synchronicity.

Baptist preacher, Tony Campolo, tells of a time when he went to a small college to speak. Before the service, several of the faculty members took him inside a room and prayed over him before he went out to talk to the student body. Tony said,

“These men prayed long, and the longer they prayed the more they leaned on my head. They prayed on and on and on and leaned harder and harder. One of the faculty members prayed at length about a particular man named Charlie Stoltzfus. That kind of ticked me off, and I thought to myself, ‘If you’re going to lean on my head, the least you can do is pray for me.’ He prayed on and on for this guy who was about to abandon his wife and three children.”

Following the chapel service, Tony got in his car and headed home. As he was getting on the Pennsylvania turnpike he noticed a young man hitchhiking. He picked him up. Tony said, “I know you’re not supposed to, but I’m a Baptist preacher and whenever I can get someone trapped in a space where I can preach to him, I do it!” As they pulled back onto the highway, Tony introduced himself and asked the man what his name was. The man replied, “My name’s Charlie Stoltzfus…!”

Tony immediately turned the car around and headed back the other direction. Charlie said, “Where are you going!” “I’m taking you home,” Tony replied. “Home?” “Yes, home. Because you left your wife and three children.” When they got to the house Tony went inside and talked with the man and his wife. The couple worked through their problems and Charlie ended up becoming a pastor.

Not all situations turn out as neatly as this, but so often in life meaning falls in your lap. So the next question is, even if life has a way of organizing itself so that meaningful coincidences take place, do we need to include God in the equation?

A guy was driving to an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said “God, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and maybe even give up tequila.” Miraculously, a parking place appeared right in front of him. He looked up again and said, “Never mind. I found one myself.”

God and Evolution

All of the beauty and mystery of life can be fully experienced without any reference to God, and many people live happily without any need for God. If you are in that category, I’m neither trying to persuade nor coerce you to change your mind. And no, I don’t find you to be a lawless and anarchistic bunch. Some of the most moral people I know are atheists. I mix with a number of people who call themselves spiritual atheists. Being an atheist who appreciates the mysterious interconnectedness of life, and lives a life of love and compassion, is a perfectly reasonable position to hold.

However, at a time when belief in God is under a certain amount of intellectual attack, I want to outline some ways that it is just as reasonable to hold your belief in God alongside a belief in evolution. Maybe I will go a step further than that and talk about how belief in God can broaden and deepen the experience of life as it leaves open the possibility of a divine force underneath and within experience. Who am I, and what do I know, but here goes anyway!

1. Let go and let God

Surrender the life you have planned to step into the life that is waiting for you. There come certain moments in life when you let go and let God, maybe nervously opening yourself to the emerging and even surprising future. By leaving yourself open to an unknown future, you so often discover new and wondrous connections. Maybe it’s meaningful for you to use God as a name for the depth of knowing beyond rational pro and con lists. Maybe God gives a sense of the growing consciousness that not only knows what to do, but knows why certain actions are important and how they will serve the world.

As Margaret Wheatley says, “Our plans are nothing compared to what the world so willingly gives us.” Let go and let God co-create a life beyond your wildest dreams.

2. The Whole is Greater than the Parts

You have heard phrases like “touch a star, disturb a star” and “heaven in a grain of sand”. What they are describing poetically may be true at a quantum level. The whole is greater than the parts, and at the same time each part contains the potential and imprint of the whole. A visual way to think of this is that each wave is part of the ocean, and inseparable from the ocean, but the ocean is greater than its combined waves.

This has profound implications for the way you live. You are more than a machine, and so much more than the sum of your parts. You are a whole and wondrous person. Each of your parts; your personality, your experience and skills, contains the imprint of the whole, and is loaded with healing potential. When you put it all together you are nothing less than God becoming more divine in each moment. You are whole, unbroken and unbreakable. God is a perfectly reasonable name for the whole and the potential for wholeness in each part. No matter how lonely it may feel at times, the wave is never separate from the ocean and you are never separate from the whole.

3. You are part of Something Enormous

To say that your life and choices are part of God becoming more divine fills your life with incredible significance. You are connected to a larger, deeper, richer whole that puts your present limited situation into a new perspective. Maybe God is a name for the sense of ’something beyond’, of ’something more’ that gives meaning and value to where you are now. That ’something more’ may be a cause that moves you to action or an ever increasing circle of compassion, it may be a sense of awe at truth or beauty or it may be a sense that your actions are part of the evolutionary process. The consciousness that grows from this sense of “something more” not only guides you to know what to do, but also to deeply appreciate why certain things are worth doing.

When Jesus said that those who follow him would do greater works than his, I sense that he understood a profound evolutionary truth. (John 14;12) The greater works would not necessarily be miracles in the sense of defying nature. They would be works of a deeper consciousness; a greater understanding of the interconnectedness of life and the responsibility of each to co-create the future. I believe that the recording of these words in John’s gospel was a sign that the early Johannine communities around Ephesus from whom the gospel arose, were developing a profound mystical belief in God as the source of life and inner consciousness that connects all. It’s no accident that these words about “greater works” are sandwiched by Jesus washing his disciples feet in chapter 13 and the metaphor of the vine and the branches in chapter 15. An awareness of God within manifests as love and service for all.

4. There’s Always More

When you feel like your life has come to dead halt, paralyzed by fear, God as process may help you to see that there’s always more.

Albert Einstein is said to have performed the following thought experiment when he was contemplating relativity. He asked himself a question: If you were literally riding on the edge of a light beam and you held a mirror in front of you, could you see yourself? And the answer is no. If nothing travels faster than light, light can’t get to the mirror to reflect your reflection, so you would see nothing.

That’s a great image for the emerging edge of evolution. There’s nothing in the future to see. We’re creating it as we go out there.

It can be scary to look in the mirror and not see anything, but it can also be empowering. You get to help create what you want to see in the future. As Emerson said, “You lie in the lap of immense intelligence.” God is a name for evolution from complexity to greater complexity. Your life purpose is to awaken to this evolving process of God becoming more divine.

Why do you need to include the name God in this process? Maybe just to remind you that you don’t have it all figured out, that life is mystery and that names and labels point us to the mystery of what lies beneath. Just don’t get hung up on the names and labels. Allow yourself to go where they are pointing you.

The Divine Lottery Called Life

Just in case this is all getting a little neat and orderly, let me remind you of the incredible miracle that is your life. Do you ever wonder in quiet moments how you came to be alive? I don’t mean how it happened, but why you and why now? Of all the improbable circumstances, one egg fertilized at just the right time, generation after generation along the line, it IS a miracle that you are here. Then add in the multiple risks and uncertainties of life, from disease to accident, generation after generation along the line, and it just becomes outrageous for you to be here. While your death is a mathematical certainty, the odds of you existing in the first place are ludicrously improbable.

So start living like the miracle that you are. Make the absolute most of each precious gift of a moment that is your miracle of a life, and make the miracle count for something profound. Live your life so that years later, when future generations are contemplating the miracle of their existence, your legacy lives on in ways known and unknown.

Give thanks for the miracle of evolution. Live the miracle of evolution. Namaste.

For Further Reflection -

Why do you think some people are so afraid of evolutionary theory?

Do you think it’s reasonable to believe in both God and evolution?

What do you find inspiring and empowering about evolutionary theory?