We're All Related

Traditional Russian nested dolls stack one inside another. The only distinguishing feature of each doll is its size. The beautiful thing about nested dolls it that the size of each doll is just what it needs to be to keep the whole doll intact. If one doll is missing, the whole thing will rattle around and if you put them in the wrong order the whole thing will topple over. The nested doll is a profound metaphor for the spiritual journey of growth and connections. Life has its own beautiful connectedness. The universe is a nested whole, and each individual is a nested whole within a universe of parts.

Body, mind and spirit work together like stacked dolls to create a healthy and whole person. They want to be in harmony. They are like triplets separated at birth, longing to be reunited. If you spend all your time building your body, you could be neglecting your spirit. If you spend all your time learning pieces of knowledge and don’t allow time for being, you could be neglecting your body and spirit. When you unite mind, body and spirit, your mind is clear, your body is strong and your spirit soars as every nerve and cell in your being orients and cooperates towards this end.

The dolls are also a beautiful analogy for the different parts of your “self”. A rotund Russian doll was lying on a therapist’s couch, saying to her counselor, “I get the feeling there are lots of little “mes” inside me just trying to bust out. Am I going crazy doc?” There are parts of each of us that we are still getting to know and appreciate. Maybe it’s the adventurous side of a cautious person or the creative side of a logical person. You’re not going crazy. You’re just learning to express the full genius of your humanity. Don’t resist.

All the parts of your humanity, even the seeming contradictions, are important. Just don’t imagine that any of them could ever fully define you. As you uncover the outer layers of the self with awareness, you get closer and closer to your essence as a seed of divine potential. The deeper into the nested selves you delve, the less striving and pretending there is. When you drop the need to measure up to society’s standards, a new layer is revealed. When you drop your assumptions about what you can and can’t do because of the past or your genetics or whatever excuse you come up with, a new layer is revealed. When you drop the attachment to your ideas of how the future will play out, a new layer is revealed.

There is a place beyond the surface noise that is peaceful and calm as it has nothing to prove and nothing to fear. You could say that this inner doll is God, or Ultimate Reality, or Ground of Being or Divine Abundance or pure awareness, or I am, or whatever language you use to describe stillness that has nothing to protect or defend. It just is, and is completely at one with all that arises. You know what I’m talking about, because you have experienced it, even if only for brief moments.

The analogy of the nested dolls offers an antidote to much of the drama that divides us, within and without. The great philosopher Carl Jung said, “Whatever is rejected from the self appears in the world as an event.” Jung’s last years of life where lived in the shadow of the Cold War. He spoke about unresolved inner drama playing out as conflict between the “West” and the “Communist Bloc”. Is the same shadow boxing taking place now between America and the Muslim world? Is there an inner restlessness that is disowned in the west and being projected out onto Islam? A small number of terrorists have provided an excuse to blame all Muslims for our global restlessness.

The question of whether an Islamic Center should be built near Ground Zero cuts to the heart of whether we truly accept our inner shadows and our connection to each other. Muslims didn’t attack America on 9/11, terrorists did. A small group of fanatics twisted Islam to fit their agenda the same way Hitler twisted Christianity to suit his agenda.

An Islamic center run in the true spirit of Islam would be an asset to downtown Manhattan. It would help to bring healing to a fragile neighborhood. It would increase understanding of a religion that seems obscure and foreign to many westerners. Hopefully there will be some self awareness about the resistance to the Islamic center that will heal the disowned shadow.

Then again, imagine a center on or near ground zero that crosses the boundaries that divide people along religious and political boundaries; a space that mimics the nested dolls. Imagine the healing that could take place with a space that combines a Muslim prayer room, a Christian gathering room, a Zen meditation space, a New Thought reading room and more. Each part of the space would build on the rest. The foundation of the whole thing would be a welcome entry space that includes and transcends all else that takes place. It would remind everyone that we are intimately related beyond the differences and ultimately working in the common cause of a more peaceful world.

You can now buy Democratic nested dolls. Obama is on the outside, then Clinton inside him, then Carter, Johnson and Kennedy in the centre. Not that Kennedy is God of course, but it is certainly true that each leader builds on their predecessors. In fact you could create a nested doll with each of the political leaders from all parties nested inside of each other. The evolution of party politics is interrelated. Parties are more related than we realize just as religions are more related than we admit.

Beyond all the shadows and fears, we are all one. Beyond the divisions and language barriers lies The One. It is the divine essence of all things. You know deep down in places you can barely remember that you are destined to live in divine essence. It is calling you to live in relationship to all people. Come back to it now. It will transform your life and it will begin to heal the world.

As the poet Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Please visit Soulseeds for resources to remind you that you are related to all being. The Spiritual but not Religious daily affirmations particularly focus on global oneness.

Life is a Series of Meaningful Coincidence

"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be experienced." Joseph Campbell

I have been asked to write about synchronicity and serendipity. What are they? Is there any difference between them? I relish the opportunity to put down in words my profound appreciation for synchronicity and serendipity, as they are two of life’s gifts that fill me with deep gratitude and wonder.

Let me say up front that I have no idea whether the meaning that I find in events and people and nature is created inside my own mind, or whether I am bending my mind and heart to make life meaningful. Who can say? This distinction is not important to me and the question is distracting. It’s a little like being at the peak of a roller coaster and pausing the scene to analyze whether I am just making up the feeling of exhilaration. Just feel the moment and enjoy the feeling. What is important is that I experience meaning and miracle as much as possible.

In order for an event to qualify as synchronicity or serendipity it has to be surprising. It has to shake you out of some habitual mindset that deludes you into believing that life has predictable patterns that you can control and explain. Some situations defy easy answers. Déjà vu, uncanny premonitions, recurring dreams, ridiculously improbable meetings, outrageous “jinx” moments – these are all beautiful, if sometimes eerie, experiences.

There is no particular causal link. For example, I am eating in a restaurant on the other side of the world in a place I have never been and there is my neighbor at the next table. We didn’t plan it. There is no rhyme or reason as to why this should happen. And yet, it feels like more than coincidence. We have a conversation that the frenetic pace of home life never allowed for. We forge a new bond. A friendship is born.

As Swiss psychologist Carl Jung said, it’s "more than chance, and less than causality". It’s a meaningful coincidence, even if just because it leaves me gasping at the possibility of miracles in every day moments.

Birds and creatures so often seem to be agents of meaningful coincidences, like a white dove hovering at the baptism of Jesus. The hummingbird appears at particular moments of self reflection as if to remind you to be gentle with yourself. The crow reappears high on the pole as if to warn you to pay attention. Jung had his own meaningful encounter with a beetle. A patient was telling him about a dream that involved a golden scarab beetle, when he heard a tap at his window. Jung opened the window and in flew a scarab beetle. Its colors matched the description of her dream. The scarab beetle was rare in that part of the world. It was an unexpected visitor. He handed the beetle to the woman and said, “Here is your scarab.” By all reports, the woman had some major breakthroughs as a result of the experience. The beetle became a symbol for transformation and wholeness.

So often, moments of synchronicity and serendipity occur at times of crisis and vulnerability. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. The teacher may be a person or a beetle, a meeting or an event.

What is the difference between synchronicity and serendipity? It’s a very subtle difference, and not one that is particularly important. Serendipity is a surprising event or meeting that feels meaningful. Serendipity is running into someone and in the course of the conversation realizing that this is exact connection necessary at this point in your life. Synchronicity is two or more events that seem meaningful because they happen at the same time. Synchronicity is hearing the same phrase used several times in the same day and realizing that it’s the piece of a thought puzzle you had been looking for.

One of the most amazing moments of serendipity I have ever heard about was the story of a Jewish man from Ohio who visited the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. The man had some unresolved tension with his deceased father. He was blaming himself for his father’s death and decided to leave a note to his father in the wall. It is commonly believed that the stones in the wall have healing power. His note said, "Dear Father, I beg you to forgive me for the pain I caused you. I loved you very much and I will never forget you. And please know that nothing that you taught me was in vain. I will not betray your family's deaths. I promise." He placed the note into a small crack in the wall and in the process dislodged another note. He couldn’t resist reading it. Incredibly, it turned out to be a note from his father. It said, “My Dear Son Joey, If you should ever happen to come to Israel and somehow miraculously find this note, this is what I want you to know: I always loved you even when you hurt me, and I will never stop loving you. You are, and always will be, my beloved son. And Joey, please know that I forgive you for everything, and only hope that you in turn will forgive a foolish old man."

The son was ready, and the teacher came in the form of the most amazing and transformative coincidence. Maybe the long and short of it all is to have an open mind and heart so that more and more situations feel meaningful and significant. Choose to live as if coincidences are God’s way of staying anonymous. Choose to believe that people and events, especially the surprising ones, are sacred experiences.

For my part, I choose to believe that my meeting with the love of my life twenty years ago was serendipity. There was no logical reason why we should meet, coming from different cities and worlds. The meeting was meaningful and created a family and a life calling. The birth of my three children, the moves from Australia to New Zealand to America, the encounter with some of the most amazing people in the world – these and more situations are encounters with a mystery that sources my life and fills me with joy.

Serendipity and synchronicity call me beyond the thoughts I’ve known to soar like a bird and shine like a golden beetle. They remind me to trust life which surely has more plans and purposes than I could ever imagine. So many moments are tapping at the window of my consciousness, asking to come in. All I need to do is open the window.

But don’t take my word for it. Look to your own experience. As Rumi said, “Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth." Find your own meaning. Realize your own miracles. The universe is waiting to greet your openness. Fill the hunger in your spirit by discovering the miracle and meaning that is lurking in every moment. This is the true joy of being alive. Celebrate the conspiracy of coincidences that are collaborating in the creation of your life’s calling.