Trusting the Music of your own Soul

I only cleaned the pool butt naked one time. That’s all it took to learn the lesson. I was home alone. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. All was calm and peaceful as I moved around the edge of the pool with skimming pole in hand. I was so taken with my garden paradise, lost in the tranquility of it all, that I didn’t hear the pool guy arrive. He had unexpectedly come to fix the filter. I didn’t know he was there until I turned around and we found ourselves cheek to cheek (so to speak). I carefully lowered my pole and toweled up. Paradise was lost, and there was no Eve to blame for this one.

The poor guy was professional enough to keep his gaze high and act as if this happened everyday in pools all around the neighborhood. We did share a light joke about it, laughing about the hypothetical headlines in tomorrow’s newspaper. Many people have only ever seen me in a business suit. Shorts and crocs are enough of a shock for some people - without going to naked extremes.

Do you remember seeing your school teacher for the first time out of school? It was almost unthinkable for me to come to the realization that my teacher had a life, a family of her own, went to shops, etc. It is certainly surprising for some people to see me with my family or having a drink in a bar.

We have a tendency to put people on pedestals, expecting certain people to exist on a higher plane, exuding patience and virtue. We’re often uncomfortable when people expose their limitations and insecurities.

Well, here I stand. I can do no other. This is me. I have high ideals and a large vision for the world to be a more compassionate place. My vision demands a personality and presence that is sometimes larger than I am ready to believe I can offer. But I am driven forward and demand that of myself because this is the point of my teaching. Abundance is discovered in self discovery. Fear is overcome in risk taking. I am here to teach what I am learning which will involve sharing my experience of life, even the naked truth about my own vulnerability.

I dwell in divine abundance. I believe that all people can dwell in divine abundance. I believe that deep down in places you can barely remember, you are destined to live in divine abundance. At the same time, like me, you might be a restless person who experiences self doubt and anxiety. The abundance that I speak of is not an escape from insecurity, but an acceptance that insecurity is breeding some other truth in you if you can stay awake, stay open, listen, learn, and grow.

I want to inspire deeper humanity. I want to remind you that your vulnerability is just as sacred as your perfection. As Leonard Cohen said, “Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”
You don’t have to let too much light in, nor let it all in at once - especially when the pool guy stops by. Let SOME light in, trust those around you with your humanity, and be trustworthy with the humanity of others. You can offer no greater gift. As Maya Angelou said so wisely, “When you learn, teach. When you get, give.”

This is the spirit of Soulseeds affirmations. Each affirmation is written out of the pains and lessons of life. They offer a way to create meaning in the experiences of your life, to heal the cracks by shining light and love on them. They offer a way to practice being human, first in the safety of your own mind (or by reading them to your best friend, as I know one dog owner does each morning), and then in the world where it can be so hard to stay grounded. The affirmations bring you greater ease with who and where you are, while opening the door to a deeper peace.

The intention of the affirmations is, in the words of Barbra Streisand, “to discover you, what you do, and trust it.” What an awesome thought. Focus your time and energy on things that nourish your true self. Trust the music of your own soul. Celebrate the joy of being you in this moment. It’s not where you will be tomorrow, but it is perfect for today. As you find the joy of acceptance, the you that you are becoming will unfold effortlessly like a rising sun.

Rising Above Negativity

There is a Maya Angelou poem called “Still I Rise”. It’s my favorite Easter poem, full of sassy optimism. It rings of a woman who has stared her demons in the face, and said “enough. I choose freedom.” It is dripping with life experience. It’s as if she is saying to her detractors, “I may be disappointing your low expectations, and your self limiting beliefs, but get over it. I’m here and I’m done with fear.”

This poem first struck a chord with me in Easter of 2001. It felt like I had been forced out of my hometown (Sydney) because the church didn’t know what to do with me. It felt like an ending. I was full of bitterness and defeat. Easter 2001 was my first Easter at St Matthew in the City in Auckland. It was the first Easter I stared my own bitterness in the face, like a heavy stone. I made the choice to roll the stone away from my ego’s tomb and create my own future. This was no ending. This was an incredible beginning that eight years later is still beginning. Applying the Easter story as a lesson in personal transformation was the icing on the cake of my own liberation. Still I Rise was my mantra.

Last Sunday, as well as reporting back on my trip to the UK, I began an Easter reflection. I used the image of rising above perceived endings, standing on the mound of your life experiences and using them as a spring board for new possibilities. I have experienced this liberation. You can as well. May you know freedom this Easter; freedom from regret and bitterness. May you rise above endings to gain the vision necessary to greet a new moment. Every perceived letdown is an opportunity in disguise. Every imagined disappointment is a new possibility awaiting your attention. Everything you think you have lost eventually turns up in a different guise. Every ending morphs into a wondrous new beginning.

Make a decision this Easter. Enough with the self inflicted drama and suffering. Enough with trying to live down to other people’s expectations. This Easter, you rise. This Easter, you rise. This Easter, you rise.

Here is the whole Angelou poem for inspiration- even better, watch Maya read it.


Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou